Thanksgiving… that time of year where we have an excuse to eat everything and anything we can get our hands on. We become gluttons to the highest degree. This is one of the holidays that we define as truly American. We eat ourselves into a coma and call it tradition.
Anyway, just because Halloween is over… it doesn’t mean we stop working here at FrightCatalog. Here are some ideas to add a little bit of spice to your Turkey Day:
2. Funny Hats: Be the star of your own Thanksgiving Day Parade. Wear one of these hats and you can be “that guy” at the dinner table. Who is going to start an argument with someone who has a turkey on their head? No family feuding this year! All for less then the cost of a couple of cans of cranberry sauce!
3. Child- the other white meat: Kids, you know I love them! (for dinner) Dress your favorite little heathen in this costume and you won’t feel bad about serving him for dinner. Shove an apple in his mouth and VOILA! No feathers to pull here. Just bake and serve. No screaming child running around the dinner table and breaking things and crying when they fight with the other little children…. just silence and a happy family dinner. Enjoy!
(Warning: once again, I do not endorse eating your child. If you eat him, I’m not responsible. You are an idiot and will most likely go to jail…. if you get caught… so make sure you clean it up well and get rid of all evidence and witnesses…..)
Right about now, the wife is frantic at the supermarket trying to get everything in order for the big day tomorrow. Hold up and take a break. Everything will get done and everything will be delicious and wonderful like it was last year. It will all go by way too fast and you will be left with a mess to clean up before you realize you even ate the turkey.
So, take a breath. Life is too short to be stressed and serious. Forget the turkey and focus on your own “wish bone” for a second. Here’s the deal. Role Play. Even adults should get to dress up and play once in a while.
There are a few ways to play this. You can be the Pilgram man hunting the Indian princess….chase her around the fire and pull her back by the hair. You can both be innocent Puritans preparing your first meal…and getting a little frisky under your bonnets….. You can both be Indian savages on the hunt without any regard to authority. Paint your faces and scream and dance by the fire. Finally, she can be the Puritan and you can be the horny Indian man on the hunt for some white meat 😉 The choice is yours.
Step away from everything and take some time for each other. If you have kids (that sucks) send them to their friends house to play. Give yourself a moment just for you. Light some candles and let the games begin. When you get in costume, you won’t feel stupid, you will feel like the character you are internalizing. It will make your significant other even more exciting because in a strange way it will feel like cheating. Get into character, set your story line, and let yourself go. Imagine the naughty looks over dinner tomorrow 😉 I guarantee that getting things ready for Thanksgiving before everyone comes over will be a lot less stressful this year.
Whatever way you play it, it will be a nice escape from the madness. Yes, I can take the most innocent holiday and turn it into sex, and I believe that you should too. Get playing before you get so stuffed on turkey tomorrow that you can’t even roll over to say goodnight. Get to it while your top button can still button. Have fun 😉