It’s finally fall, which means it’s about time for my favorite fall-related activity, apple picking. I know you are saying to yourself, “But Megan, you can buy apples in the grocery store. Why would you want to pick them yourself?” I’ll tell you- it rules. There is nothing like climbing up in a tree to pick fruit, dodging angry bees, and trying not to get pesticide in your face that makes you feel quite so human. Also, they charge you only for the apples that you bring after you’ve picked them, not the ones that you eat on the way out. So economical!
So what do you do with the 10 lbs of apples that you spend the day picking? Thankfully, apples are an extremely versatile fruit. Chop them up and put them in a salad, bake them whole, or just eat them raw. One of my favorite apple recipes is apple crisp, which I’ve decided to share with you all (this one is adapted from the Betty Crocker recipe, which is also delicious).
4 c. tart apples, sliced
3/4 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. flour
1/2 rolled oats
1/2 c. butter, softened
2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease an 8-inch baking pan and set aside. Spread apples in pan. Mix together oats, sugar, 1/3 c. butter, and spice in a medium bowl. Dot apples with small pieces of remaining butter and spread oat mixture over them. Bake for 30 minutes or until top is browned. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.
Imagine if we could solve poverty and world hunger at the same time? In 1979, Johnathan Swift published a classic satire essay that proposed a solution: sell the babies of the poor as a delicacy to rich English gentlemen. In this way he mocked high society and shed a light on class disparity by his absurd proposition.
The website EatBabies.com was born (excuse the pun) in part to Swifts essay and also to celebrate satire in all forms (though, mostly that of eating babies). The site includes comics, art, and some fabulous recipes. Hungry? Try such entrees as Bab-B-Q Torso and follow with a dessert of Babyberry Pie. On a lighter diet? EatBabies.com has got your back! Babies can be a bit high in the fat department, but you can still go healthy with the Low Carb Baby Protein Shake.
Some time ago, there were emails circulating that depicted an Asian man eating what appeared to be a cooked baby carcass. People were shocked. However, About.com delved into this Urban Legend and believe it to be a hoax. The pictures were traced back to an underground art exhibit after being rejected as “too controversial” by curators of Shanghai 2000 Bienniale. The article suggests that the image could have been composed of doll parts and that if indeed the man was eating a real baby, he would have been arrested.
However, despite the hoaxes and satires, baby eating can be both fun and nutritious. We already know that placenta eating is popular in Chinese medicine and is also practiced in America to an extent. The placenta is loaded with nutrients and is said to have many healing properties. Well let’s not be so quick to disregard the baby itself. The meat is as delicate as veal. The high fat content and lack of muscle makes for a true delicacy.
If you are having a little bit of trouble stomaching the though of eating a baby- FrightCatalog has a solution. We carry all sorts of infant costumes to help the babies go down easier. Try a nice Italian entree of Baby Bunting Pizza followed by a chocolatey Tootsie Roll dessert, and for the more health conscious, the Banana Baby Infant Costume. Just slide on your favorite food costume, and your baby will be much more appealing to eat. TIP: babies are best served rare with a side of buttered peas and a nice Chianti.
Disclaimer: FrightCatalog does not endorse eating babies. The article is for entertainment purposes only.