Now ye sorry sprogs, ye need to be brushin up on yer pirate speak so you can talk to the souls of the damned aboard this cursed vessel we call the internet. Here be some startin’ rules on how to be speakin like a true buccaneer:
Double up on all your adjectives and you’ll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of “a big ship”, they call it a “great, grand ship!” They never say never, they say “No nay ne’er!”
Drop all your “g”‘s when you speak and you’ll get words like “rowin'”, “sailin'” and “fightin'”. Dropping all of your “v”‘s will get you words like “ne’er”, “e’er” and “o’er”.
Instead of saying “I am”, sailors say, “I be”. Instead of saying “You are”, sailors say, “You be”. Instead of saying, “They are”, sailors say, “They be”. Ne’er speak in anythin’ but the present tense!
The above rules be commandeered from the fine website yarr.org. Ye best be viewin the rest of the website to brush up on all yer vocabulary. Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming up on the date of September 19th. Ye know I will be quizzin ye on your A…B…and Seas.
Once ye master the basics, turn ye Facebook into ye own furner. Scroll to the bottom left of ye Facebook homepage to where it says “English”. Change the writings to “English (Pirate)” and Avast! Ye are on ye way to a whole new adventure.
Now keep an eye on the horizon and a hand on the sail. I have one final treasure for ye. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is in the makin. This time Captain Jack Sparrow faces a wench from his past and also encounters the infamous Black Beard all while on a journey to find the booty of all booties, the fountain of youth. This ship be sailin in 2011.
Be sure to visit FrightCatalog.com for all of ye pirate needs. Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!