Get ready to bust out those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes, because after taking on the Transformers franchise, Michael Bay has set his sights on making a live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. But before you go hooting and hollering in celebration, lets take a look at Michael Bays official statement:
When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.
In response the Internet exploded into a disarray of arguments revolving around seven words within Bays statement: These turtles are from an alien race. The original story depicts turtles succumbing to alien goo, which mutates them into anthropomorphic warriors. Bays claim of the turtles stemming from an alien race would essentially rewrite 30 years of TMNT history, and TMNT fans made sure to let him know about their disapproval.
Michael Bay defended his statement by saying, Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.
But lets be honest Michael Bay is a pornographic director disguising as a film creator. The story and dialogue are only there to move the film onto the next money shot scene of explosions and big breasted women running in front of expensive cars. I doubt he cares whether the turtles are from space or from radioactive ooze. He sees a franchise worth turning into a pile of cash, and he knows people will see it regardless of the origin story.
The film is currently scheduled to hit theaters on December 25, 2013.
It’s almost Halloween. The countdown is just about on. One of the most classic costumes for Halloween is of course the Devil. There are different variations of the old stand by so check out how these celebs made the devil their own.
According to a report from Reuters, Nigerian mystic John Adatiri was given a spoiler from beyond the grave on the outcome of the ’10 World Cup, which starts next week in South Africa: Brazil will take it. The dead also informed him that his own home team would make the quarter-finals. Zulu witch-doctor Sebenzile Nsukwini has also contacted the dead in regards to the event, and assures us that there will be no terror attack on the World Cup. In other news, soccer is kind of awesome for once.
By the way, the World Cup isn’t just the world’s biggest sporting event, it’s also an excuse to dress up! There’s still time to order the Adult Male soccer uniform (the sexy Adult Female costume of currently out of stock, but there’s always the Victoria Beckham-style “Soccer Wife Wig”). My personal favorite soccer-related item in the Fright Catalog is the Plush Soccer Ball Purse:
In honor of the 57 newly-unearthed Egyptian mummies, I’m calling today “Dress Like a Mummy Day.” Don’t tear up all your white sheets–check out these costumes in the Fright Catalog shop:
Arguably the coolest of all the mummy items in the store, the Universal Studios Mummy Mask is a realistic latex over-the-head mask of Boris Karloff’s Imhotep in the classic 1932 monster movie “The Mummy.”
Decomposition not your style? The sexy Mummy Queen costume with headdress and pencil-cut skirt is super cute, if not super scary.
It’s almost Mother’s Day and as usual you are running out to get a last minute gift. You are combing the Hallmark isles and sifting through the picked over “I love you Mom” section. You run to the flower section where all that is left is thirty dollar half dead daisy bouquet. Your own baby has soiled his diaper and is making a scene in the store. You are at your wits end!
Mother’s day is supposed to be special, not frustrating. A bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, and/or a Hallmark card isn’t going to make up for the nine months of torture you put your Mother through, not to mention her labor and your actual birth. You can take her out to dinner but that doesn’t add up to all the formula she bought for you, all the lunches she made you, all the birthday parties she organized for you… you gave her the short end of the stick.
As you sit in the store, hopeless and defeated, you take a better look at your baby. You put as much love and care into this child as anyone and it still doesn’t appreciate you. It’s mother’s day and you are a mother yourself. When do you get your vacation?
Suddenly- you flash to the creative and wisdom filled sarcastic writings of a bitter frightcatalog writer. You jump on the internet and BLAMO! Instant solution:
It’s almost Mother’s Day and you’ve got problems, so I’ll just cut to the chase. Suit your baby up in our Daisy Bunting Infant Costume. Take some crayons and create your own Hallmark Card. You can write “I love you Mom” just as well as anyone at Hallmark can. Plus, mothers like the personal touch better. Next take your Flower Child and put it in a nice basket. Drop him off on your mother’s door ring the bell and hop the next flight to Acapulco.Â Mom get’s flowers and a card, you get a vacation. It’s a win/win for you at least. If by some chance you have another child, you can suit him up in the Lil Teddy Bear EliteÂ costumeand throw him in with the flower. PRESTO! Your very own Build-A-Bear. Babies are cute when they don’t look like babies.
Mission: Mother’s Day Impossible
Another crisis averted thanks to your Halloween Harlot.
Disclaimer: This article is for satirical purposes only. We do not recommend leaving your baby alone on a doorstep. That may constitute neglect. We also do not recommend watering your flower baby as it may cause accidental drowning.
This poor thing is one hot mess, but it’s a cool Halloween costume. The dark gothic bride, the brooding mood. When high fashion and hell meet it can create some stunning visuals. The hair and makeup alone must have taken hours. So if you are going to get a costume like this for Halloween make sure you have plenty of time on your hands to get ready. After all getting that “just dead” look can take soem time.