Are You Afraid of The Dark?

Even at 26, I am still afraid of the dark. It’s gotten worse since I moved into my own place; I seem to have an uncanny ability to creep myself out when alone at night, especially after watching the ghost hunting shows that are all over cable. It’s amazing how the mind works- the sound of my neighbor playing Wii turns is magically transformed into the moans of a Serial-Killing-Nazi ghost who waits for me to turn my bedside lamp off so it can cut off my feet with a pickaxe. This fear has resulted in not only an expensive electricity bill, but also in my embarrassment when my friends discover the Pirates of the Carribean nightlight that is kept next to my bed.


In order to solve this problem, I’ve been on on the hunt for decorative lighting that can double as night lights. This set of Hello Kitty Paper Lanterns is cute and functional- no one has to know its true purpose. Another option is a set of string lights, like this Western Cowboy Party Light set. Not only will my apartment look adorable, but I will be able to fall asleep with knowing that I am fully protected against all ghosts, Nazi or otherwise.

Are you afraid of the dark? Let me know in the comments!

“Kill Me” Elmo

That furry red body, those crazed bug eyes, and that high pitched deceivingly innocent baby voice… it’s just not right I tell you.

I did my research on the little critter we’ve all grown to hate… Sesame Street’s own red devil, Elmo.

Elmo may seem innocent, but we know better. If you remember back in 2006, Elmo caused mass pandemonium with his “Tickle Me Elmo” toy. Christmas is hard enough without adding a hard to get $30 toy to the list. Parents literally almost killed each other to get their hands on this toy. Oh the things we do to appease the monster child. To be fair, perhaps the vibrating red doll didn’t just appeal to children… but that’s a different story.

If the “Tickle Me” craze wasn’t enough to make you hate Elmo, how about his potty training book? I recently came across an article from 2006 that discussed numerous complaints to the company in which the book said “Who wants to die?” instead of “Who wants to try to go potty?”

The name “Elmo” with the letters rearranged spells out “Mole”. This leads to only one conclusion. Elmo is a mole sent to the US by Iraq. They are using him to manipulate children and their parents to get all the Elmo toys/books/etc put in place in every home in America. Once this happens, every ticking time bomb Tickle Me Elmo will go off simultaneously….resulting in most catastrophic terrorist attack the US has never known.

Do not despair! There is hope! People are already starting to fight back…

It’s not too late for you to join the fight! Be proud to be an American!

We have a hero in our midst… and his name is Oscar the Grouch. As we all know, he is the most realistic character on the Sesame Street block. He reflects the modern world as we know it. Together, we shall rise out of our trash cans of idealism and shaded reality and fight for America. Start practicing today with the Elmo Pull String Pinata.

May the red, white, and blue be with you!

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Disclaimer: There is no proven link between Sesame Street or Elmo and Terrorism against America…just strange documented events that I’ve strung together to create something that probably isn’t there. Sesame Street please do not sue Fright Catalog. We know not what we do. This article is for entertainment purposes only… and the mass selling of your Elmo Pinatas.

Public Display of Awesome

Photo via MSNBC, John Koster / AP

So far, this has been a pretty shark-filled summer here on the East Coast, from the Great White sightings off the coast of Massachusetts to the multiple water evacuations on the Jersey shore. In California, shark sightings are less uncommon; the coolest one of the year? This renegade papier-mache sculptural enhancement to a bronze surfer called “Magic Carpet Ride” in Cardiff-by-the Sea. The city’s calling it a prank (but not vandalism, since the statue wasn’t damaged), since the brilliant and apparently unknown artists installed it overnight. How kickass is that? Night Shark! (Via @weirdnews)

PS–Want to dress up like the shark art? Fright Catalog actually has a costume for that…

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Please Kill Me

Sexy Chucky Adult Costume

Sexy Ms Voorhees Adult Costume

Ms Krueger Naughty Nightmare Adult Costume

Halloween. Women seem to find this holiday that one time of year where they can dress like the slut version of their favorite character. I wonder if that’s what Disney had in mind when they made Snow White and Aladdin. Any way you slice it, men love it. No one’s complaining. However, I want to toss a you a bone… or three.

Hear me out:

Men are attracted to strong women who could possibly rip their throats out and eat it for lunch. I’m stating this based on experience. Instead of being scantily clad in a crowd of scantily clad, stand out and separate yourself. Naughty cops and sexy maids are so cliche. Close your eyes and go back to a time when horror movies were horror movies and the villains never died. Jason, Freddy, Chucky: Those were names to fear. These monsters gave me many sleepless nights…and now those sleepless nights can be yours to give.

Now we can live out our serial killer fantasies…in a safe, insane, consensual way. Don’t lie to yourself, you know you’ve had at least one. Now when you turn off the lights it can be you that will be bumpin’ in the night. My whole M.O. in life is to make sure that you have the best sex possible. Let down your guard and trust me on this. Maybe I’m a bit twisted to imagine how Jason would be in bed, but hockey jerseys are sexy and machetes make your heart race. Put those two together and on on a chick? I’m putty in your hands.

At we have your sexy, your funny, your scary, and your heart pounding horrifying. The choice is yours. Whatever you pick to wear is your alter ego for the night. When you slip on a costume you can’t help but get completely into character. Don’t forget, a little bit of blood goes a long way. Don’t be afraid to get dirty… it’s a trophy of your stack of victims.

Check out our deliciously evil costumes and knock em dead. Literally.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

3 Steps Instant Popularity

Are you socially awkward? Does your pocket protector double as a cock blocker? Do you get about as much sunlight a day as Oprah’s minge? Is what you first look for in the opposite sex a flirty come hither username? Does your idea of daily exercise consist of walking up and down the stairs of your parents house to get chips/use the bathroom/etc?

If you answered yes to any and all of these questions, this article is for you!

First Step to Popularity:

Confidence: Talk about what you know. When you talk about what you know, you appear more lively and confident, as well as intelligent.

For Example: Take the fascinating and expansive world that you escape to every night….the World of Warcraft.

Now that you have your subject matter and confidence… Let’s go on to Step # 2: Fashion.

Trend Setter: Everyone is always on the search for the next new trend in fashion. Lady Gaga is on the forefront of fashion as we know it today. She’s a bit strange and futuristic…and people are eating it up. So it’s time to toss aside those tattered old Star Trek t’s. Instead, opt for something more daring, while wearing it with confidence. If Gaga can do it, why can’t you?

Ex. Check out this model on the runway sporting Warcraft-esque fashion. Would any woman kick this guy out of bed? The sunken Edward Cullen-like cheeks and living dead facial expression may add a little more sex appeal to the uber chic fur poncho but that can be easily remedied for your needs. This brings us to the final step…

Step number 3:

Your face:

World of Warcraft – Forsaken Mask – Adult

Hours upon hours of staring at computer screen and consuming nothing but pizza and soda may leave you bug eyed, pale, and greasy. The fur poncho, or suit of anatomically correct armor (your preference of course) may correct and sexify the pizza belly. However, your face can not be cured over night. But not to fear! We at have your solution to babe scoring bliss. To complete your bad ass new look, top your face with one of our many warcraft warrior masks.

Wear your mask with confidence and pride. You won’t be invisible anymore. People will stare from afar, intimidated by your confidence and style. Do not be ashamed to wear your mask! Women find the mystery of a man in a mask incredibly sexy. Their imagination will run wild. All the greatest legends have worn masks…Batman, Iron Man, Spiderman, and now you….Warcraft Man.

May the force be with you.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

15 Most Outrageous Costume Controversies

15 examples of how when people get dressed up it can cause a lot of trouble.

Nothing is more fun than costumes. Whether you’re dressed up for Halloween or just attending your friend’s costume party, it’s always a blast to pretend to be someone or something else for a little while. But while dressing up is generally a harmless act, anything taken too far is never a good thing. As a general rule of thumb, the less controversial your costume, the better. Here are 15 costumes that decided to throw caution to the wind and wound up offending, annoying and pissing people off.

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Things Not to Wear on a Plane

So this girl in the UK tried to board a plane a while ago wearing boots covered in metal spikes and was detained, questioned and ultimately had to board the plane with plastic bags on her feet (the scary shoes did get to travel with her, but in luggage). Extreme, I guess, but a reminder that clothing and accessories that resemble Medival torture devices in any way might cause you some major inconvenience with airport security.

Other things you might not want to wear when trying to board a plane:

Edward Scissorhand Gloves

Slipknot 133 mask

Stealth assassin costume with daggers and sword.

Just sayin’. Happy summer travels!

Woo Woo!

Here in the Midwest, things have been hot. Not hot in the good way, but hot in the having-your-underpants-stick -to-your-skin-as-soon-as-you-walk-outside kind of way. My solution: fruity cocktails, and a lot of them. Here’s a recipe for one of my favorites, the Woo Woo.

Woo Woo

1 oz. Vodka

1 oz Peach Schnapps

2 oz. Cranberry Juice

In a cocktail shaker, pour vodka and schnapps over ice. Add cranberry juice, shake, and strain into skull goblet. Enjoy!