It's fun to talk like a pirate and what you are about to read is exactly what all the pirates will say when they see a pretty seafaring lass in a sexy pirate costume. I wouldn't mind me first mate wearing any of these captain suits, what with their dark leather and white silks and blessed corsets. Why, no man could keep his mitts off a Sexy Pirateer when she's struttin' around in that pretty costume. Blow me down, would you look at that Pirate Queen and Princess o'er there! Them long coats and short skirts would make any sailor weak at the knees, and those pirate hats o' theirs put me weather-worn thing to shame.
Oh, but I do love some black and red. Me men need to look at that runner full o' scarlet-suited dames, all o' them more lovely than any bloody sunset. 'swoons, that Plus Size Vixen over there could rock me boat any time. An' the High Seas Treasure Pirate at the mast must be the captain o' the ship. I don't know why she'd be makin' that sweet Plank Walker go overboard—the lass is too pretty for the sharks. Avast, d'you see those bloomin' girls over there? What with them booty-bearing bottoms and tight tops, they be more adventurous than any o' the sea dogs on me ship! I wouldn't be mindin' if that Sexy Rogue snuck aboard this ship, and I could certainly bring that Playboy Pirate to port. I'd change me name to Jack Sparrow if it meant that Black Pearl lass would give this old soul a look.