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10 Days of Torture: Mother in Law…cont.

We last left our hero (you) in the middle of the woods at his mother in law’s rickety old farm house. He was with his beautiful woman and just about to step up the the looming door.

… As you both stare at the sorry excuse for a house in front of you, you lightly squeeze her hand and smile. Is there anything I should know before we go in there?you say with a wink.

She looks at you with wide eyes and slightly parts her lips, “Eat whatever they put in front of you.” Before you can react to this odd statement, the front door flies open. Two hideous creatures run at you while you stand immobilized by fear and confusion. Is this really happening?

Mr Living Dead Adult Mask

Before you know it, you are blindfolded and dragged into the house. You hit your head on the steps and go unconscious. Everything is black. When you awake you find that you are still blindfolded. You can’t move your hands or feet and realize you are bound to a chair. Your body goes cold. This is the end. You try to slow down you breathing and listen to the sounds in the room. Things are rustling and people are whispering. In your panic you can’t make out what they are saying.

All of a sudden the blindfold is ripped from your face. You are now able to see the horror around you. Hideous faces peer at your hungrily from the dark smokey room. The faces are warped and twisted. They unlike any human face you’ve ever seen. Before you can really adjust your eyes, a hand grabs the back of your head and shoves you and the chair full speed towards the dinner table. Your eyes widen in horror as you see what appears to be a half eaten body stretched across the table. Your blood races through your veins as you close your eyes and pray for this not to be real.

A horrid breathy growl of a voice bites at your ear. “Eat”, it says. Another creature twists and moves unsettling towards you with a knife. It points at the others staring all around you. They have guns pointed. You know there is no way out of this. In the corner of your eye you see your beautiful lady. She sits at the table with her eyes down. You wonder if these things killed her family or if they are her family. Thoughts race. Did she plan to do this to you? Your thoughts are cut off by the cold blade of the knife against your skin. It cuts the ropes and your hands are free.

Butcher Table

The hand on the back of your head pushes your face into the table. “EAT!”, it growls with more intensity this time. You grab the fork and without hesitation spin around and plunge it right into your captor’s shoulder. A scream is let out, followed by a strange muffled laughter. You are stunned and frozen. All around you the laughter gets louder… followed by cheering.You look at your lady and she has a big beautiful smile on her face. What is going on?

The creatures drop their guns and peel at their faces. Your brain feels like it’s going to explode any minute. You are disconnected with reality. You must be going crazy. You close your eyes. You open them. People. Normal people. Normal people are staring back at you. The creature that you had plunged the fork in was a normal looking American. He had a smile on his face. He shook his head in laughter and said, “Welcome to the family boy! You sure are somethin’! We put a hell of a scare in you. Most sissies run to the door but you put up a fight!” He reached and pulled out the fork from his shoulder. No blood! “Good thing I got this big foam suit on just in case things get messy!” he said in his burly southern voice.

Another woman chipped in, “We get our masks on Frightcatalog.com. We just wanted to see who is tough enough to deserve our baby girl! You passed the test!’ Your whole body is aching and you can’t see straight. You point at the table towards the bloody half eaten body and start to mumble, “but..” You are cut off by another voice, “Oh, that’s just a prop we got off the site too. Sure did fool you!”. More laughter.

Your lady comes running up to you with her strawberry gold locks bouncing behind her. She wraps her arms around you and kisses you on the lips. “Oh honey, you did so well! Welcome to the family!”

With that, you haphazardly push her away and untie your legs from the chair. You take a moment to breathe, you stand up, give a salute to the crazy family around you, and walk towards the door, grabbing the apple pie on your way out. No broad is worth shitting your pants over.

Open road, apple pie, and a football game on TV for when you get home. Not too bad.

The End.

10 Days of Torture: Your Mother in Law.

Psycho Mothers Dress Adult Costume

Torture comes in all shapes and sizes. So does your mother in law.

So, you’ve met the woman of your dreams. Now comes time to meet the family. You already know your partner was adopted, but you don’t know much about her family. She never really talked about them and you never really asked. All you know is that they raised one hell of a beautiful and perfect woman, so how bad could they really be?

You dress in your Sunday best, pick up a fresh apple pie to bring over, and hit the road.

Your partner is unusually quiet. You take the opportunity to enjoy the silence. After several windy roads, you start to wonder where these people actually live. You look over at your lady. She is compulsively picking at the skin around her nails and licking her lips. You haven’t seen her act this way before. You assume she is just nervous if her family will like you or not. “How much further, honey?”. Your voice breaks the silence and seems to startle her, which in turn startles you too. She looks at you with her wide ocean blue eyes and says “We’re not too far now”. Her quiet and meek voice floats through your ears like a delicate breeze. You really are a lucky man, you think to yourself as you turn focus back on the road.

The daylight is fading fast. However, several trees and windy roads later, you come upon the house. It is a little middle America looking, with a broken down chicken coup in the font and various lawn tools strewn about. Maybe this was why she seemed nervous. You aren’t the neatest and cleanest man around, but this place makes yours look like Martha Stuarts summer home. As you slow down to park, your car shakes and bumps along the uneven dirt road. This is like something right out of the movies. Wanting to ease your lady’s nerves, you take her tiny pale hand and lean over to kiss her pink cheek. “We’re here baby. This is very quaint. Like one of those old country movies…” She seems to know you are just trying to make her feel better, but she lets her small bow lips curl up into a half smile as if to let you know she appreciates the gesture. Her smile quickly disappears as you open the car door.

50 Haunted Forest Room Roll

After taking a moment to breathe the crisp air into your lungs, you walk to the other side of the car where your lovely lady waits. Her strawberry blond hair seems to warm the dark around you. She looks beautiful with her pretty light blue dress and the apple pie resting in a box on her lap. You smile at her and reach down to open the door. As you look down, you notice a little bit of red on your hands. You gasp when you realize that it’s blood. When it registers that it is not your blood, you quickly realize that it is your lady’s. She must have inadvertently made herself bleed while she picked at her hands in the car. Not missing a beat, you wipe your hands on your jeans and open the door. You don’t want to upset or embarrass her. You softly take her cold hands into your warm ones and help her out of the car without a word.

As you both stare at the sorry excuse for a house in front of you, you squeeze her hand and smile. “Is there anything I should know before we go in there….?” you say with a wink.

….to be continued.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria