Tag Archives: weird

“Sexy Costumes” :The Strange and Unusual

We all know Halloween is every girl’s excuse to dress like a slut. Except the girls like to call it “sexy”. There is nothing wrong with this and I do highly encourage it. However, it seems like the costume industry is running out of ideas for “sexy women’s costumes” so they are expanding “sexy” to places they probably shouldn’t be going.

Naughty cop, sexy maid, sexy nurse, sexy sailor, naughty sexy school girl, you get the idea… These all pass as part of the sexy Halloween trademark. However, I’ve compiled a list directly from Frightcatalog.com of costumes that seem to beg the question “what are they thinking?!”

Transformers Optimus Prime Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume

6. Sexy Optimus Prime: OK, I can see “sexy” popping immediately into one’s head when the word “transformers” is uttered. However, the brain would connect “sexy” to a certain “fox” rather than an “Optimus Prime”- but I guess everyone deserves a chance….

Sexy Chucky Adult Costume

5. Sexy Chucky: When Child’s Play came out I never thought I’d see the day that a sexy costume of the killer doll would be available in the future. That movie gave me nightmares for years and also resulted in mass dumpster visits of most of my dolls. I will say though, despite the trauma this movie caused me… in some sick way this costume turns me on. I kinda dig it. I want it. Kudos costume manufacturer for making this work.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…gone wild. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but something doesn’t sit right with me. Rachel was supposed to be the babe amongst all the green. Perhaps this is another case of “fox” vs “transformers”. I don’t know. I guess I could go with it…especially if said Halloween slut wore those boots. mmmmm turtle power.

Family Guy Sexy Brian Adult Costume

3. Brian… Family Guy: Now we are getting to the strange and unusual. Seriously, who came up with this? I think the real Brian would be offended. Or turned on perhaps. Or flattered. Never mind. I guess it could be worse…. sexy Stewie anyone? Maybe it’s already in the works for Halloween 2011.

Sesame Street Big Bird Sexy Female Adult Costume

2. Sexy Big Bird? Now you’ve taken it too far! This is my childhood we are talking about. Anyone who could find anything sexy about big bird has got to have some childhood issues they haven’t dealt with. I find this very disturbing… and believe me I am into some weird sh**. I mean hey….whatever tickles your pickle I guess. Who am I to judge.

SpongeBob Squarepants Sexy SpongeBob Adult Costume

1. Sexy Sponge Bob.

Really? This is a real costume and the word “sexy” is used in the title. I want to make a joke about crabby patties or something but I really don’t think I even have to.

There you have it- the top six strange sexy costumes according to your Halloween Harlot. What will they come out with next?

Sexy Fat Bastard.

Apparently “thin is in” doesn’t apply to everyone.

Many of us stare at the super models in magazines and wish to look like the girl…or sleep with her. However, there are some guys out there that would rather roll onto a love handle than a hip bone.

This brings me to the subject of feeder fetish”. In this type of fetish, both members receive sexual arousal and satisfaction as it relates to excessive weight and body fat. The overweight person is happy with his/her weight and wants to gain more. The feeder derives sexual pleasure from feeding their partner large quantities of food and watching as different parts of the body change. They also enjoy sexual pleasure in viewing and/or having sex with various folds of fat on their partners body. Some obese partners describe a fascination with their own fat as it moves from side to side with them.

Check out a video of one feeder couple here.

I say be open to all walks of life. You don’t have to eat ten brownie sundaes to get a taste of this lifestyle…. though it certainly would be delicious. Men, check out our Fat Bastard Costume. He is certainly dead sexy. Women, check out our Tassle Twirling Tessie Costume. Let your body free.

In fact, if you have an open partner… try bouncing around on each other in these sexy get ups and then try to tell me it doesn’t turn you on.

We live in Mc USA. The burger is king in this country. Don’t run away from it. Embrace it! Don’t feel guilty about that pint of Ben n Jerry’s. Dig in! The number of men attracted to large women outnumbers the amount of women who are into it. You could be in demand. Take a lesson from Donna Simpson. She has her own website that men pay membership fees to join in order to watch her eat and gain weight.

Oh hell, why don’t we round up the homeless people and give them a pay site for fat fetishists. We can stop hunger and poverty in one shot. God Bless America.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Disclaimer for the stupid people who do not see the satiric nature of this article: We do not endorse eating massive quantities of food. It is bad for your health. You could suffer serious health problems and/or die. Yes, eating a lot and not exercising increases your risk of death. Google it. However, if you prefer a gallon of ice cream to an apple, who am I to stop you.