Tag Archives: vampire

Dispelling the Rumor: Porphyria, or The Vampire Disease.

Some historians, chemists, doctors, and scientists are constantly searching for an explanation for the creation of our human folklore, specifically the origin of vampires, werewolves, zombies, krakens, etc. Unfortunately, one of the by-products of this search is the mislabeling of modern diseases and conditions. Rather than producing a resulting explanation for why we are so fascinated with reanimated corpses and blood-drinking cannibals, we are pointing fingers at individuals currently plagued by severe illnesses and conditions similar to that of a vampire or werewolf.

Vampire Folklore

Traditional vampire folklore.

In 1964, On Porphyria and the Aetiology of Werwolves, an article in the Proceedings of the Royal Society of Medicine, pointed at porphyria, a group of rare blood disorders, as an explanation for werewolf origins. The article went widely unnoticed for twenty-one years, until biochemist David Dolphin created an extremely controversial paper about the origin of vampires, using some of the articles ideas and theses as evidence.

In his paper, David Dolphin claimed that some of the varieties of porphyria have very similar symptoms to that of an individual suffering from vampirism. Pointing out that intravenous haem helps treat this group of porphyria, David Dolphin suggested that vampires were merely porphyria sufferers who were consuming large amounts of blood to simulate this process. However, there is no medical evidence that individuals diagnosed with porphyria crave the taste of blood.

These same variants of porphyria also cause the individuals skin to become hyper-sensitive to light. If the individual is exposed to prolonged sunlight, their skin burns and itches, and the application of Calomine lotion does little to deter the itching and burning sensation. David Dolphin used this as further evidence that porphyria is the origin of our vampiric beliefs. Unfortunately, the original vampire folklore claims that vampires are more active at night, not that they are vulnerable to sunlight. Sunlight as a vulnerability for vampires did not develop until the 19th century.

Porphyria

Photosensitivity reaction in porphyria.

Dolphin also noted the other symptoms of porphyria as evidence of its vampiric ties: anemia, reddish-brown urine and teeth, excess body hair, and the mutilation of the nose, ears, eyelids, or fingers. Depending on the time period, only some of these symptoms match the appearance of a vampire, but none of them are concrete enough to support his claims. To put it simply, David Dolphins whole paper was based off inaccurate information, mixed folklore, and a general misunderstanding of porphyria. This did not stop the media from loving it up though.

After the release of Dolphins paper, the media exploded with talk about realistic vampires. Some individuals suffering from porphyria were said to have been shunned by their friends and family  forced exile, something that is almost unheard of in modern America. There are even rumors of a husband leaving his wife out of fear for being bitten and turned into a vampire.

Before you go rushing out and yelling about how vampires are walking among us, remember, David Dolphin had no idea what he was talking about. Vampires live in castles and drink fine wine duh everyone knows that.

Werewolf-Vampire Connections

Before the dawn of our modern society, word of mouth was the main mode of transportation for information and stories. Anyone who has every tried to pass on a piece of information via word of mouth would know that this information often becomes jumbled and misconstrued. Some historians believe this process of orally passing along stories and information is what resulted in our current folklore of werewolves and vampires. But, did you know that some Medieval Europe societies believed there was a very strong connection between werewolves and vampires?

During the 19th century, the Greek culture would completely destroy the corpse of anyone believed to be a werewolf. If the corpse was not destroyed, they believed it would rise in the form of a vampiric wolf, which would stalk battlefields and drink the blood of dying soldiers. To save the lives of their soldiers, they had to destroy these beastly creatures and ensure that they never killed another soul. Now, it is one thing for a single culture to believe this notion, but it gets strange when other parts of the world follow it, too.

Werewolf, by Lucas Cranach der Ältere, 1512.

Werewolf, by Lucas Cranach der Ältere, 1512.

Around the same period of time as when the Greeks were destroying werewolf corpses, Germany, Poland, and parts of France were destroying the corpses of people who died in mortal sin. These countries believed that individuals who perished in this manner would come back as a blood-drinking wolf; however, unlike the Greeks, these countries viewed the wolf as an undead apparition, rather than a living creature. During the night it would stalk and hunt its prey, but when the sunlight returned, the creature would take on a human form, making it nearly impossible to discover the identity of the vampiric werewolf.

To destroy the corpse of a vampiric werewolf found in Germany, Poland, or France, priests were brought in to perform exorcisms. If that failed, decapitation with a spade was the next best option. Once the head was severed from the body, it was thrown into a river, where it would sink under the weight of its own sins, supposedly. If there was no river nearby, the same methods for disposing of a vampire would be used on the werewolf.

In Haitian culture, there is a belief in something very similar to the traditional European werewolf the j©-rouges. Resembling a wolf-man, these creatures stalk the Haitian landscape, looking for mothers of young children. Upon finding one, they daze the mother and ask her to willingly release the child into the custody of the j©-rouges. Differing from their European cousins, these werewolves actively spread their lycanthropic disease to as many individuals as possible, resembling a key trait of the traditional vampire.

If you are anything like me, you love werewolves and vampires, and now you can enjoy both of them together, like peanut butter and chocolate, but more horrifying.

Sookie…wtf? a Fairy?

It’s my favorite day of the week (and yours t00): TRUE BLOOD SUNDAY!

Nymph Spring Costume

I have about four episodes to catch up on so don’t spoil my thought process if you’ve been watching all along. The last I saw, our beloved Sookie had awoken from a dreamlike state where she was surrounded by light and fairy type beings. The darkness that came over and scared these nymph creatures away was none other then Bill Compton. I got the impression that Sookie’s unexplained powers are going to be attributed to her being a fairy. The fairies want her to come to their life and leave the dark Bill. Will Sookie stay with Bill? Will she go into the light instead? Is she REALLY a freakin fairy? What KIND of fairy is she anyway? A Tooth Fairy? (that would be rather ironic since she’s dealing with vampire teeth on a daily basis).

All these questions may have been answered in the last few episodes I’ve missed. But whatever.

Tooth Fairy Plus Adult Costume

It will be pretty lame if Sookie is a fairy. We’ve already got wolves and vampires. We really don’t need to throw fairies into the mix. Additionally, the whole dream scene was a little cheesy for my tastes. And who the hell would want to live in magical fairy land when you’ve got two super hot vampires fighting over you in real life? Sook even caught the eye of one super hot wolf dude. Sookie WAKE UP. Is this really even a decision for you? Corny happy singing goody goody fairies or dirty blood splattered vampire sex. Come on now. Come to the dark side Sook, it tastes better over here.

Side note: WHY are two rediculously delicious vampires fighting over this plain blond waitress anyway? They clearly haven’t heard of me. Yes, I am jealous. So what? Sook… or Anna… or whatever you want to be called… I think it’s time you find your way back to Wolverine and the other X-men. Leave these bad little vampires to me. Oh, that vampire queen… leave her too. Rolling Stone will have to make a new and improved cover once I let them sink their teeth into me. Mmmmmmmmmm

I love True Blood!!!!!!!

*Your Halloween Harlot*

Hot Blood Splattered Vampire Sex.

In honor of True Blood Sundays.

If the title didn’t get your attention, this full size picture should:

The Joy of Vampire Sex: ‘True Blood’ on Rolling Stone’s Latest Cover

This is probably one of the most awesome Stone covers ever. The only thing that would have made it better would be if they replaced a lame Sookie with a naked blood soaked Halloween Harlot. We can’t all be perfect though.

Anyway, here’s the plan. This picture has inspired me to throw a hot vampire orgy sex party (even if it’s just in my head).

First step: Invite sexy vampire friends (remember: you MUST invite them in) All pre-party fang re-vamping can be done here. Also invite a flock of Fang-Bangers for food supply.

Second step: Provide mood lighting and ample beverages.

Skeleton Hand Wine Glass

Sample Beverage List:

BLOODY MARY (what’s a vampire party without a classic bloody?)

INGREDIENTS: 1 part Vodka, Tomato juice, splash of Tabasco, a splash of Worchester, a little horseradish, a slice of lime
INSTRUCTIONS: Mix Vodka and Tomato juice and serve over ice with a splash of Tabasco, a splash of Worchester sauce. Mix in a little horseradish if you want a little more of a kick. Place a slice of lime on the rim.

SERVING GLASS: Tall glass.GARNISH: Celery Stick

BLOOD OF A VIRGIN

INGREDIENTS: 2 parts vodka, 3 parts bourbon, 1 part red wine, 3 drops of virgin blood
INSTRUCTIONS: Mix all ingredients in a blender and heat over an open flame for 20 minutes. Serve with extreme caution!

SERVING GLASS: Wine glass or hurricane glassGARNISH: 3 cherries

RED DEATH

INGREDIENTS: Amaretto, Southern Comfort, Sloe Gin, Orange Juice, Vodka, Triple Sec, Lime Juice
INSTRUCTIONS: Mix one part of each in a cocktail mixer with ice. Strain into shot glasses (or serve over ice if you want to get trashed faster)
Goes down like fruit punch… be warned!

SERVING GLASS: Shot Glasses
GARNISH: None


 

Third Step: Cover furniture/floors in saran wrap a la Dexter style.

Fourth Step: Get everyone drunk and naked and covered in blood…. and  proceed with vampire sex orgy.

I mean. It’s so simple that even a Jason Stackhouse could do it.

Enjoy.

Bite Me.

Vampire Bite

With our modern day love affair with vampires still in full force, and Halloween right around the corner, there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight. If you can’t beat em, join em.

Take look at quiet mysterious Bella from the Twilight Series. She dresses dark and appears to be half dead and depressed most of the time. However, teenagers across the world are pining to look and act like her in order to get the vampire or their dreams. You can beat everyone to the bite, so to speak.

Here’s what to do:

Start dressing in dark colors. Keep your hair long and in your face. Lighten your face with a little powder to give yourself that “just bitten” look. The coverage is buildable so just a little bit will do you fine. Don’t go overboard… this isn’t a Casper contest. Use dark shadow to highlight your under eye circles. Dead is in, don’t hide your lack of sleep anymore! Next, apply your bite. You can bet that you’ll be getting more attention then Pamela Anderson at a frat party.

Face Painting Glitter

Boys, you want more girls than you can shake your stick at? Toss some glitter all over your body and walk into the sunlight. You will be swarmed in the hottest mess of 14 years olds you can imagine and probably a few sex crazed Adam Lambert fans as well. Don’t forget your setting spray, it will keep you glittering all night and all day.

Good luck!

Fight!

So, the mysterious Mortal Kombat Rebirth film short/trailer that started making the rounds this week is not a game teaser, but a pitch to Warner Brothers for a new, darker MK movie, according to Jeri Ryan, who appears in the short. No word yet on whether WB is backing the movie, but if you were hoping that the mystery film was a game teaser, you’re in luck: a new Mortal Kombat game is coming in ’11 for Playstation 3 and XBOX 360. The new version, to be released by Warner Brothers, is expected to go back to featuring ultra-gory finishing moves.

I don’t know, sounds like an excuse to dress up as a ninja fighter!

Ninja Gal Teen Costume

In other news, I saw via Dread Central that “Kick Ass” star Christopher Mintz-Plasse will play Evil Ed in the “Fright Night” remake. Peter Vincent will be played by David Tennant, aka Dr. Who. I can totally see it.