Tag Archives: true blood

Sookie…wtf? a Fairy?

It’s my favorite day of the week (and yours t00): TRUE BLOOD SUNDAY!

Nymph Spring Costume

I have about four episodes to catch up on so don’t spoil my thought process if you’ve been watching all along. The last I saw, our beloved Sookie had awoken from a dreamlike state where she was surrounded by light and fairy type beings. The darkness that came over and scared these nymph creatures away was none other then Bill Compton. I got the impression that Sookie’s unexplained powers are going to be attributed to her being a fairy. The fairies want her to come to their life and leave the dark Bill. Will Sookie stay with Bill? Will she go into the light instead? Is she REALLY a freakin fairy? What KIND of fairy is she anyway? A Tooth Fairy? (that would be rather ironic since she’s dealing with vampire teeth on a daily basis).

All these questions may have been answered in the last few episodes I’ve missed. But whatever.

Tooth Fairy Plus Adult Costume

It will be pretty lame if Sookie is a fairy. We’ve already got wolves and vampires. We really don’t need to throw fairies into the mix. Additionally, the whole dream scene was a little cheesy for my tastes. And who the hell would want to live in magical fairy land when you’ve got two super hot vampires fighting over you in real life? Sook even caught the eye of one super hot wolf dude. Sookie WAKE UP. Is this really even a decision for you? Corny happy singing goody goody fairies or dirty blood splattered vampire sex. Come on now. Come to the dark side Sook, it tastes better over here.

Side note: WHY are two rediculously delicious vampires fighting over this plain blond waitress anyway? They clearly haven’t heard of me. Yes, I am jealous. So what? Sook… or Anna… or whatever you want to be called… I think it’s time you find your way back to Wolverine and the other X-men. Leave these bad little vampires to me. Oh, that vampire queen… leave her too. Rolling Stone will have to make a new and improved cover once I let them sink their teeth into me. Mmmmmmmmmm

I love True Blood!!!!!!!

*Your Halloween Harlot*

Hot Blood Splattered Vampire Sex.

In honor of True Blood Sundays.

If the title didn’t get your attention, this full size picture should:

The Joy of Vampire Sex: ‘True Blood’ on Rolling Stone’s Latest Cover

This is probably one of the most awesome Stone covers ever. The only thing that would have made it better would be if they replaced a lame Sookie with a naked blood soaked Halloween Harlot. We can’t all be perfect though.

Anyway, here’s the plan. This picture has inspired me to throw a hot vampire orgy sex party (even if it’s just in my head).

First step: Invite sexy vampire friends (remember: you MUST invite them in) All pre-party fang re-vamping can be done here. Also invite a flock of Fang-Bangers for food supply.

Second step: Provide mood lighting and ample beverages.

Skeleton Hand Wine Glass

Sample Beverage List:

BLOODY MARY (what’s a vampire party without a classic bloody?)

INGREDIENTS: 1 part Vodka, Tomato juice, splash of Tabasco, a splash of Worchester, a little horseradish, a slice of lime
INSTRUCTIONS: Mix Vodka and Tomato juice and serve over ice with a splash of Tabasco, a splash of Worchester sauce. Mix in a little horseradish if you want a little more of a kick. Place a slice of lime on the rim.

SERVING GLASS: Tall glass.GARNISH: Celery Stick

BLOOD OF A VIRGIN

INGREDIENTS: 2 parts vodka, 3 parts bourbon, 1 part red wine, 3 drops of virgin blood
INSTRUCTIONS: Mix all ingredients in a blender and heat over an open flame for 20 minutes. Serve with extreme caution!

SERVING GLASS: Wine glass or hurricane glassGARNISH: 3 cherries

RED DEATH

INGREDIENTS: Amaretto, Southern Comfort, Sloe Gin, Orange Juice, Vodka, Triple Sec, Lime Juice
INSTRUCTIONS: Mix one part of each in a cocktail mixer with ice. Strain into shot glasses (or serve over ice if you want to get trashed faster)
Goes down like fruit punch… be warned!

SERVING GLASS: Shot Glasses
GARNISH: None


 

Third Step: Cover furniture/floors in saran wrap a la Dexter style.

Fourth Step: Get everyone drunk and naked and covered in blood…. and  proceed with vampire sex orgy.

I mean. It’s so simple that even a Jason Stackhouse could do it.

Enjoy.