Besides the fact that hell would freeze over, if for some reason by the immaculate conception I, the Halloween Harlot, had a child… I would make it awesome.
Face it, baby clothes are expensive. Add the clothes to the cost of formula, diapers, school, food, etc and you’ve grown yourself your very own financial pocket parasite. Not to mention, kids aren’t particularly the cutest things in the world. Wouldn’t you rather have a puppy? At least you can leave them alone in the house for a few hours while you run errands.
Anyway, I’m getting off subject. If I had a kid, I’d dress it up like something fun every day. At FrightCatalog.com you can find lots of fun outfits for the same price or less than the cost of normal vanilla baby outfits that you’d find elsewhere.
Little Damion, you want to be Superman today? Hell yeah kiddo! Go save the world! The other kids might try to make fun of him, but I mean, how can you -really- make fun of Superman? He’ll kick your ass. Same goes with Batman or a Stormtrooper. Your kid will start a trend in the school yard. Soon, every kid will want it to be Halloween everyday.
Bonus: The kid will use his imagination! Dressing up in different characters encourages the brain to think outside the box. He will also gain confidence. The more you encourage his awesomeness, the more awesome he will be.
It’s also fun to have to dress the kid up because it’s like having a new character everyday instead of a child. It’s entertainment for the parent. Dress him up like a Rockstar and bring him to a Korn concert. The babes will be all over you that’s for sure. Try dressing him up like a Stormtrooper and tell him that Luke Skywalker called and needs him to clean his room to save the world. Kids are gullible. By dressing him up, you make him more gullible. He’ll feel like cleaning his room is his duty to save the world!
He won’t eat his greens? Dress him up like Shrek and tell him Shrek needs to eat green to stay green! Trust me, he’ll eat his greens.
Why live in a boring world? Imagination starts at youth. Make it Halloween every day and not only will you have a constant source of entertainment, but your kid will grow up brighter and way more awesome then those vanilla Gap babies. Make a stand. Viva Halloween!