Tag Archives: sesame street

“Sexy Costumes” :The Strange and Unusual

We all know Halloween is every girl’s excuse to dress like a slut. Except the girls like to call it “sexy”. There is nothing wrong with this and I do highly encourage it. However, it seems like the costume industry is running out of ideas for “sexy women’s costumes” so they are expanding “sexy” to places they probably shouldn’t be going.

Naughty cop, sexy maid, sexy nurse, sexy sailor, naughty sexy school girl, you get the idea… These all pass as part of the sexy Halloween trademark. However, I’ve compiled a list directly from Frightcatalog.com of costumes that seem to beg the question “what are they thinking?!”

Transformers Optimus Prime Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume

6. Sexy Optimus Prime: OK, I can see “sexy” popping immediately into one’s head when the word “transformers” is uttered. However, the brain would connect “sexy” to a certain “fox” rather than an “Optimus Prime”- but I guess everyone deserves a chance….

Sexy Chucky Adult Costume

5. Sexy Chucky: When Child’s Play came out I never thought I’d see the day that a sexy costume of the killer doll would be available in the future. That movie gave me nightmares for years and also resulted in mass dumpster visits of most of my dolls. I will say though, despite the trauma this movie caused me… in some sick way this costume turns me on. I kinda dig it. I want it. Kudos costume manufacturer for making this work.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…gone wild. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but something doesn’t sit right with me. Rachel was supposed to be the babe amongst all the green. Perhaps this is another case of “fox” vs “transformers”. I don’t know. I guess I could go with it…especially if said Halloween slut wore those boots. mmmmm turtle power.

Family Guy Sexy Brian Adult Costume

3. Brian… Family Guy: Now we are getting to the strange and unusual. Seriously, who came up with this? I think the real Brian would be offended. Or turned on perhaps. Or flattered. Never mind. I guess it could be worse…. sexy Stewie anyone? Maybe it’s already in the works for Halloween 2011.

Sesame Street Big Bird Sexy Female Adult Costume

2. Sexy Big Bird? Now you’ve taken it too far! This is my childhood we are talking about. Anyone who could find anything sexy about big bird has got to have some childhood issues they haven’t dealt with. I find this very disturbing… and believe me I am into some weird sh**. I mean hey….whatever tickles your pickle I guess. Who am I to judge.

SpongeBob Squarepants Sexy SpongeBob Adult Costume

1. Sexy Sponge Bob.

Really? This is a real costume and the word “sexy” is used in the title. I want to make a joke about crabby patties or something but I really don’t think I even have to.

There you have it- the top six strange sexy costumes according to your Halloween Harlot. What will they come out with next?

“Kill Me” Elmo

That furry red body, those crazed bug eyes, and that high pitched deceivingly innocent baby voice… it’s just not right I tell you.

I did my research on the little critter we’ve all grown to hate… Sesame Street’s own red devil, Elmo.

Elmo may seem innocent, but we know better. If you remember back in 2006, Elmo caused mass pandemonium with his “Tickle Me Elmo” toy. Christmas is hard enough without adding a hard to get $30 toy to the list. Parents literally almost killed each other to get their hands on this toy. Oh the things we do to appease the monster child. To be fair, perhaps the vibrating red doll didn’t just appeal to children… but that’s a different story.

If the “Tickle Me” craze wasn’t enough to make you hate Elmo, how about his potty training book? I recently came across an article from 2006 that discussed numerous complaints to the company in which the book said “Who wants to die?” instead of “Who wants to try to go potty?”

The name “Elmo” with the letters rearranged spells out “Mole”. This leads to only one conclusion. Elmo is a mole sent to the US by Iraq. They are using him to manipulate children and their parents to get all the Elmo toys/books/etc put in place in every home in America. Once this happens, every ticking time bomb Tickle Me Elmo will go off simultaneously….resulting in most catastrophic terrorist attack the US has never known.

Do not despair! There is hope! People are already starting to fight back…

It’s not too late for you to join the fight! Be proud to be an American!

We have a hero in our midst… and his name is Oscar the Grouch. As we all know, he is the most realistic character on the Sesame Street block. He reflects the modern world as we know it. Together, we shall rise out of our trash cans of idealism and shaded reality and fight for America. Start practicing today with the Elmo Pull String Pinata.

May the red, white, and blue be with you!

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Disclaimer: There is no proven link between Sesame Street or Elmo and Terrorism against America…just strange documented events that I’ve strung together to create something that probably isn’t there. Sesame Street please do not sue Fright Catalog. We know not what we do. This article is for entertainment purposes only… and the mass selling of your Elmo Pinatas.