Tag Archives: pimp

TRUE LIFE: I was solicited by a pimp and ho.

This story is based on real life events that happened to the author.

It was a typical beautiful sunny California day. The sun was out, the air was full of fresh carbon dioxide, traffic was at the height of road rage…

I was just getting back from a long run. My blue shirt was soaked in sweat, my black spandex biker shorts were giving me a wedge, and my hair was in a sloppy pony tail that dreaded together from a week of not washing it. I trudged ahead with my backpack on and finally reached my street. I could see my house. I was almost home. I slowed down to drink some water when all of a sudden I caught a glimpse of a dark car slowing down next to me.

Before I could turn to look at the shady car, I hear a woman’s voice yell, “Hey girl, you got some fine ass legs! You should come over here and talk to me!”. I instantly get nervous and turn my head to get a better look at the car. It’s a black expensive looking car with dark tinted windows. An African-American woman leans out of the passenger side window in a low cut tank top. Her large breasts spill over, hair looks disheveled, and she’s sucking on a bright red lollipop. I have a bad feeling creeping through my veins and I know I need to get out of this situation as fast as possible so I walk faster and yell out “I’m in a hurry”. The woman again calls to me, “Baby, you looking real good, why you do me like that. At least give me your number so I can talk to you.” I look over and she pulls out her cell phone.

I peer over to the driver and it appears to be a heavy set middle aged African American male in a suit with dark glasses on. He appears to be amused but impatient. All that is running through my mind is that this is a pimp and ho situation. They are looking to recruit. Women are more trusting of other women so he is using her to get to me. If she doesn’t pick me up he is probably going to beat her. She looks at me with her cell phone in hand and smiles while sucking that bright red lollipop. I feel dirty and scared. What are these people doing on my quiet street? They must have followed me from the main road and I hadn’t noticed.

I yell “I can’t” and instantly look for a way out of this situation. I see a group of people my age walking towards me down the street and run over to them. I tell them to pretend they know me. I stand in their protective shelter while the car pauses and waits for me. It slowly drives by me and does a U-turn and heads back out of the street.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

The group stays with me until I feel safe and then I walk towards my house…safe but shaken.

Take this as a warning. Pimps and ho’s work all day. Not just at night. Pimps aren’t easy to pick out like they used to be.

I want to state a call for action that all Pimps wear designated Pimp Suits in bright colors as a warning for normal non cracked out woman to stay as far away from them as possible.

Additionally, pimp cars are easy to spot. Crack whores hang out the sides while sucking lollipops. Do not approach these cars. I repeat- Do NOT approach these cars. Or you can kiss your family goodbye.

I know I usually write funny articles… but this just goes as a warning for everyone to pay attention and stay safe out there. Look out for each other.