Watching the Challenge: Cut Throat on MTV sort of fires me up. Have you ever wished to be a fly on the wall at school or work and hear all the crappy things people say about you when you aren’t around? I used to. Until I was cast on the show. Now every week I get to sit back and watch a verbal slew of Cara Crushing. Be careful what you wish for
Whenever I got pissed on the show… I would go out for a run. I’m not into confrontation. However, sometimes I get so angry that I feel like I need to hit something. It’s rare. But it happens. I’m sure it happens to you as well.
Now, let’s take out our anger in a more positive way.
Sometimes you get so angry, you attack the first thing you see…. and then you regret it. I’ve had an ex boyfriend break his cell phone in half because he was angry with me. Dumbass. I’ve known people to punch walls or break glasses etc. All you are left with is a broken or severely hurt hand and an expensive mess to clean.
I offer you a solution. <— click that link. seriously.
You get to take out your aggression… and instead of a broken fist and broken glass… you get CANDY! I like candy!
It’s a win/win.
Stay tuned for Cut Throat every Weds on MTV 10/9c.
After a horrible week, I decided to spend my Friday night relaxing with a bottle of white zinfandel and my favorite cast of ethic stereotypes on the Jersey Shore. I had been lax in keeping up with this season- somehow watching a bunch of people talk about tanning is seen as less worthwhile than doing homework. After a 4 hour marathon, I am finally caught up, and I have a few observations I would like to share.
1. Smash vs Smush: At first, I thought that these terms were interchangeable. However, I have learned that “smushing” is done with someone who is “wife/husband material” and smashing is done only with sluts. An important distinction!
2. The only difference between “grenades” and “hot girls” is based solely on their willingness to touch a boner, not physical attractiveness.
3. There is a “G” in “sandwich”.
4. If you want to become wife or husband material, you must: 1. Be from Eastern Europe or Latin America, 2. Have interests outside of wearing stretch jersey and binge drinking, and 3. Buy your paramour something desirable, such as a Fossil watch. However,
5. If you buy a girl a Fossil watch, she will not have sex with you. Talk about a Catch-22!
As you will soon learn on MTV’s Cut Throat challenge in Prague… things aren’t always as they seem.
I’ll let the story unfold to you as it will, but after living in this haunted castle, I really do believe in ghosts. Many things went bump in the night, and not just in the Gray team bedroom.
There is something we were not supposed to know about. The house we now called home had been vacant for years before we invaded it with our drunken ignorant American ways. The audio equipment, the cameras, the lights, the Challenge cast…. We disturbed something. There were some things not meant to be seen and not meant to be messed with. We poked… we joked… and then we were given signs that we were not welcome there.
There is a room in that house that is considered sacred. This room is off limits… but a few of us didn’t listen. Two of the people who messed with the spirits of the house have already been eliminated in an intense Gulag. Coincidence?
I won’t reveal anything just yet, but keep your eyes wide and your mind open for the supernatural.
While pondering my own life’s “bucket list”, I have concluded that running into a gas chamber and having to solve a mind boggling puzzle while in the midst of it would not be on that list.
However, you only live once. I can now check off “gas chamber” on my list of things I’ve done.
If you haven’t been in one, let me describe this glorious experience to you. First, if you wear contacts, take them off of they will melt into your skull. True story. Now, you can barely speak because your throat and nose is on fire with pins and needles. You can’t see because your eyes are burning off of your face. You can’t think because for god sakes you can’t breathe. But, oh yeah, throw in a puzzle on top of that and realize that if you don’t get it right, you have to go back in. Welcome to my world.
As painful as that experience was. I have to say that I am thrilled that I can say I did it. In fact, if you are ever in the middle of Prague and competing for a shit ton of money, I’d say throw a keg party in the chamber and get down with your bad self.
But be weary, the more exposure to that stuff you get, the more likely you are to see these guys floating around you.