Beauty pageants. A couple of things come to mind here.
1. 8 year olds made up to look like Dolly Parton by overzealous pageant moms living vicariously through their children.
2. Rediculously airbrushed tan women starving themselves for weeks to strut a stage in clear heels and a bikini to win more than a few dollar bills, but a crown and some flowers too.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Been there, done that (actually, yes. your very own Halloween Harlot has competed in a few pageants… complete with clear heels and a sequins dress and a huge fake smile to boot… Don’t ask.)
Now a few piercings and skull beads later… I wonder what is out there to cater to awesome girls like me. In my random internet search for pics of hot half dead chicks, I discovered one *hell* of a beauty pageant.
In the fantastical world of the UK, comes the Miss Zombie Queen 2010 Pageant. After watching the video (more than once… mmmm) I can only conclude that instead of the needless evening gown and interview sessions which are the staple of most pageants, this one cuts straight to the chase. Talent competition: roll around in blood and shake your pasties. I dig it. I mean… I wouldn’t run away if these hot zombies wanted to eat me….
Substitute the big hair and spray tans for white contacts and pale dead skin and you got yourself a Zombie Queen!
May I suggest that this contest happens in in my area in the near future? Someone needs to bring this undead sex fetish over my way ASAP. In the meantime, you can gear up for when the madness eventually arises by stocking up on all things zombie at Frightcatalog.
I’m going to go ahead and watch that video again… in slow motion.
Oh- and no disclaimers on this one. Undead blood covered chicks in pasties are hot. I really don’t care what you think. Speaking of *blood covered*, you should probably make sure you have some of that red stuff hanging around your house somewhere. It can come in handy in so many ways. Shove some up your nose to get out of work early or toss some in a plastic tub and have chicks in bikinis wrestle in it… I mean the possibilities are endless.