Anyway, just because Halloween is over… it doesn’t mean we stop working here at FrightCatalog. Here are some ideas to add a little bit of spice to your Turkey Day:

Pin the Hat on the Turkey Game

1. Pin the hat on the turkey game: So simple… even Drunk Uncle Joe could do it. Family fun at its finest.

Turkey Hat

Plush Referee Turkey Hat

2. Funny Hats: Be the star of your own Thanksgiving Day Parade. Wear one of these hats and you can be “that guy” at the dinner table. Who is going to start an argument with someone who has a turkey on their head? No family feuding this year! All for less then the cost of a couple of cans of cranberry sauce!

Turkey Child Costume

3. Child- the other white meat: Kids, you know I love them! (for dinner) Dress your favorite little heathen in this costume and you won’t feel bad about serving him for dinner. Shove an apple in his mouth and VOILA! No feathers to pull here. Just bake and serve. No screaming child running around the dinner table and breaking things and crying when they fight with the other little children…. just silence and a happy family dinner. Enjoy!

(Warning: once again, I do not endorse eating your child. If you eat him, I’m not responsible. You are an idiot and will most likely go to jail…. if you get caught… so make sure you clean it up well and get rid of all evidence and witnesses…..)

Corpse Bride Ultra Deluxe Collectable Adult Costume

Can’t fit everything into just one article when it comes to Tim Burton and Halloween. He’s like the Godfather of Halloween fantasy. He puts his signature twist in every movie. Many of his stories have a misunderstood outcast as the main character. There is usually a strange mechnical assembly line sequence, clowns, stitched/dead  people or animals, and an absent or cruel father figure.

I’ve taken you through the best of Tim Burton (Beetle Juice, Batman, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Edward Scissorhands) Now I will take you through the rest…

The Corpse Bride (2005) is an animated romantic fantasy reminiscent of the Jack and Sally relationship on the Nightmare Before Christmas. When the groom practices wedding vows over the grave of a dead woman, she rises and assumes he is to marry her. You too can be the Bride from Hell.

Sweeney Todd Deluxe Adult Costume

Mrs Lovett Adult Costume

Sweeney Todd (2007)

Based on a Broadway musical, this is a story of a disturbed barber who will stop at nothing to get his daughter back from the sinister Judge of the town. He sets up shop with meat pie maker Mrs. Lovett. His kills go into her pies and together they make one disturbed, yet very successful couple.

Alice In Wonderland Movie Deluxe Red Queen Adult Costume

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Everyone knows the story of Alice in Wonderland. Tim Burton’s twist on the familiar fairy tale takes you on a teenage Alice’s journey back to Wonderland.

Take some of these ideas and think about your most killer costume this year. Remember: groups and couples make a huge impact. Dress like the twisted cast from Alice in Wonderland, or go out at Lydia and Beetle Juice. Carry meat pies through the town on Halloween as Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett.
The possibilities go on and on. Add your own personal twist to the Tim Burton classic. The countdown is officially on, so get to it!

So why not put yourself in a Burton movie dreamland. Play some Danny Elfman compositions while you get ready and your night will turn into magic.

Lets go back to the beginning:

Beetlejuice Deluxe Adult Costume

BeetleJuice (1988)

He’s the ghost with the most. Why should you be him for Halloween? Well, just ask him what his qualifications are: “Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?”-Beetle Juice

Collectors Batman Adult Costume

BATMAN (1989)

By far this is the best Batman ever created. Who can argue with a Jack Nicholson Joker? Follow up a couple years later with a latex clad whip crackin’ Michelle Pfieffer and you have a recipe for success. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Then Batman is your choice this Halloween. If you are going to do Batman, do it right. This costume is the only way to go.

Edward Scissorhands Costume

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

I can’t speak highly enough of this movie. The character of Edward has been present in Burton’s early works in one way or another. He finally got to make his dream real with Johnny Depp bringing the character to life. Edward is a sweet and gentle yet misunderstood “monster”. This is a love story full of artistic and symbolic fantasy.

The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington Costume

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick! Lock him up for twenty years, see what makes him tick! Jack Skellington and Sally, another love story. The imagery in this movie is really intense. It’s like looking into the mind of Tim Burton and seeing what he sees. If only I could live in his head for a day!

…oh wait… I live in his head everyday.

Bring yourself into the wonderful twisted world of Tim Burton this Halloween. Stand apart from the vampire and pirates. Just remember if you do it, DO IT. Don’t go cheap, go quality. You are representing a dark genius. Don’t make me go Beetle Juice on your ass!

Your Halloween Harlot, Miss Cara Maria

There’s just something about skintight latex clad curves on a super delicious woman that drive men out the window. Add to that heels and a whip and oh my god… on your knees please. I mean, it worked on Batman didn’t it?

Since Halloween is fast approaching, I’ll use this blog to post pics of super sexy costumed women. The “black cat” costume is one of the most popular for Halloween. You can do it cute, you can do it fun, and you can do it off the charts sexy.

Michelle Pfieffer

Left: Michelle Pfieffer… my idol. She brought some raw S&M flavor to Catwoman. I couldn’t have asked for more. This Catwoman was the start of my latex fetish. Apparently during production of the movie, Michelle went through several costume changes. The latex was so tight that she was sewn into it for each scene.

Bottom Right: Victoria’s Secret Model Ines Rivero pays tribute to the Michelle Pfieffer version of this feline fatale.

Ines Rivero Victorias Secret Model

Julie Newmar

Left: From the 60′s Miss Julie Newmar really brought the sexy for Catwoman.

Bottom Right: Khloe Kardashian rocks a Julie inspired catwoman look for last years Halloween.

Khloe and Lamar

Now it seems as if the celebs who are Moms or Moms to be opt for a more furry and realistic type of kitty:

Gwen and Gavin

Brook Shields

Heidi Klum

Whichever catwoman you decide you emulate this Halloween, just make sure you do her justice.

Check out all the great Cat Gear we have at FrightCatalog.com … snag your own Batman this year.

halle berry

Also, by the glory of god, may the Hollywood execs not make another Berry mistake…

Halloween Harlot Miss Cara Maria

SawJigsaw Tobin Bell Mask Adult

Tobin Bell aka “Jigsaw” of the Saw movies is perhaps one of my favorite of all movie killers. He never really directly killed anyone or took a completely “innocent” victim. His victims were people with shady pasts who didn’t full appreciate life as they should. Jigsaw’s mission was to teach a lesson, and he did so but putting victims in sadistic torture games that they could get out of if they made the right move. Jigsaw is a smart and calculating man. His games are deliciously twisted.

What originally started as a low budget horror movie has turned into a multimillion dollar franchise. There has been a new Saw movie every year since the original Saw came out in theaters in 2004. There are costumes, video games, books, and even theme park attractions dedicated to the followers of the movies. Now with the 3D movie craze sweeping the nation, you can be on the look out for the seventh installment of the Saw series set to come out in theaters October, 2010. As long as the Saw movies keep coming, I will keep paying to get my fix of mind bending torture.

Click to Watch: Saw 3D Teaser Trailer

Saw Puppet Mask

If you can’t hold off another month, play this free online game to keep you occupied in the meantime. It’s harder then you think, but the code can be cracked. Don’t get discouraged if your victims have to die a few times before you get it right. After all, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Still want more? Great! I saved the best for last. It’s one thing to let two strangers suffer and die, but it’s another game when it’s your own life on the line.  Play JigSaw’s Game and put yourself in the torture chair. Stare yourself in the face as you sit in pure fear for your life. Are you smart enough and quick enough to  get out alive? I wasn’t.

It’s the kid’s birthday, or you just got a raise at work,  or you got a divorce, or just any excuse in which a party can be thrown.

Go with a medieval theme. Due to the popularity of the movie “How to Train Your Dragon” the kids will be more then thrilled. Here are the steps to assure a party the kids will never forget. Trust me on this one.

It’s a medieval party so you will need to put out the themed  eating utensils to assure the proper eating of your homemade dragon cake. Have the kids help you make and decorate the dragon. It may  come out more dysfunctional looking with their help, but the ineptitude of  children has a way of making you feel smarter. Plus you can use it as bonding time or whatever.

Next get everyone in the mood by setting the scene with a proper background of haunted trees. Turn on the  fog machine to make everything eerily fantastical.

Now for the main event: the dragon slaying. There’s two ways you can play this game: socially acceptable or child traumatizing. I of course prefer the latter of the two…but it’s not my party.

Socially acceptable dragon slaying:

You the adult don the costume of the dragon. The children get to dress up as knights and princesses. You run around your mystical woods scaring the knights and wreaking havoc. The mini-knights finally take you down in a blaze of fiery glory. They attack you with plastic swords until you snuff your final puff of breath. Little kids win. Little kids scream in happiness. You bust your hip and take a couple sword pokes to the eyeballs but hey, the kids are happy.

http://www.frightcatalog.com/i/240x240/1006943.jpg

Child traumatizing (more fun):

This time the roles are reversed. The children are dressed as dragons and you are the knight.  Time to take revenge on the little heathens. My advice, get the baby dragons first. They can only crawl. Once they are strung up by their feet you can set your eyes on the faster ones. They are tricky little buggers. The kids will scream and probably cry… but they are dragons. Don’t let them fool you. Once all the dragons are slayed, you can enjoy a nice big dragon cake all to yourself in sweet silence. Now that’s a happy ending.

What are you waiting for? Get your dragon slaying party started today!

Disclaimer for the town idiot:

I do not endorse attacking your child with a sword and eating his cake. You could probably get arrested for that. This article is for satirical purposes only.

I did my research on the little critter we’ve all grown to hate… Sesame Street’s own red devil, Elmo.

Elmo may seem innocent, but we know better. If you remember back in 2006, Elmo caused mass pandemonium with his “Tickle Me Elmo” toy.  Christmas is hard enough without adding a hard to get $30 toy to the list. Parents literally almost killed each other to get their hands on this toy. Oh the things we do to appease the monster child. To be fair, perhaps the vibrating red doll didn’t just appeal to children… but that’s a different story.

If the “Tickle Me” craze wasn’t enough to make you hate Elmo, how about his potty training book? I recently came across an article from 2006 that discussed numerous complaints to the company in which the book said “Who wants to die?” instead of  “Who wants to try to go potty?”

The name “Elmo” with the letters rearranged spells out “Mole”. This leads to only one conclusion. Elmo is a mole sent to the US by Iraq. They are using him to manipulate children and their parents to get all the Elmo toys/books/etc put in place in every home in America. Once this happens, every ticking time bomb Tickle Me Elmo will go off simultaneously….resulting in most catastrophic terrorist attack the US has never known.

Do not despair! There is hope! People are already starting to fight back…

It’s not too late for you to join the fight! Be proud to be an American!

We have a hero in our midst… and his name is Oscar the Grouch. As we all know, he is the most realistic character on the Sesame Street block. He reflects the modern world as we know it. Together, we shall rise out of our trash cans of idealism and shaded reality and fight for America. Start practicing today with the Elmo Pull String Pinata.

May the red, white, and blue be with you!

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Disclaimer: There is no proven link between Sesame Street or Elmo and Terrorism against America…just strange documented events that I’ve strung together to create something that probably isn’t there. Sesame Street please do not sue Fright Catalog. We know not what we do. This article is for entertainment purposes only… and the mass selling of your Elmo Pinatas.

If you answered yes to any and all of these questions, this article is for you!

First Step to Popularity:

Confidence: Talk about what you know. When you talk about what you know, you appear more lively and confident, as well as intelligent.

For Example: Take the fascinating and expansive world that you escape to every night….the World of Warcraft.

Now that you have your subject matter and confidence… Let’s go on to Step # 2: Fashion.

Trend Setter: Everyone is always on the search for the next new trend in fashion. Lady Gaga is on the forefront of fashion as we know it today. She’s a bit strange and futuristic…and people are eating it up. So it’s time to toss aside those tattered old Star Trek t’s. Instead, opt for something more daring, while wearing it with confidence. If Gaga can do it, why can’t you?

Ex. Check out this model on the runway sporting Warcraft-esque fashion. Would any woman kick this guy out of bed? The sunken Edward Cullen-like cheeks and living dead facial expression may add a little more sex appeal to the uber chic fur poncho but that can be easily remedied for your needs. This brings us to the final step…

Step number 3:

Your face:

World of Warcraft - Forsaken Mask - Adult

Hours upon hours of staring at computer screen and consuming nothing but pizza and soda may leave you bug eyed, pale, and greasy. The fur poncho, or suit of anatomically correct armor (your preference of course) may correct and sexify the pizza belly. However, your face can not be cured over night. But not to fear! We at frightcatalog.com have your solution to babe scoring bliss. To complete your bad ass new look, top your face with one of our many warcraft warrior masks.

Wear your mask with confidence and pride. You won’t be invisible anymore. People will stare from afar, intimidated by your confidence and style. Do not be ashamed to wear your mask! Women find the mystery of a man in a mask incredibly sexy. Their imagination will run wild. All the greatest legends have worn masks…Batman, Iron Man, Spiderman, and now you….Warcraft Man.

May the force be with you.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Captain America Costume

It looks like after that awful Wonder Woman costume redesign it’s time for the nerds over at Project Rooftop to come up with a new costume for Captain America. Let’s hope this one gets done right. After all there is nothing like cruising around in a skin tight red, white and blue spandex suit and shield. I mean how cranked up can you get with that costume on? Walk onto a plane with the Captain America costume and the terrorists will run for cover. Go out to a club on any random night and have your pick of over obsessed fans. People will be buying you drinks all night. Of course as Captain America you would have to refuse alcohol. But of course you could let girls do body shots off your foam six pack.  After all whats more American than that?

Superman Infant (6-12 Months) Costume

Batman Infant Costume

Besides the fact that hell would freeze over, if for some reason by the immaculate conception I, the Halloween Harlot, had a child… I would make it awesome.

Face it, baby clothes are expensive. Add the clothes to the cost of formula, diapers, school, food, etc and you’ve grown yourself your very own financial pocket parasite. Not to mention, kids aren’t particularly the cutest things in the world. Wouldn’t you rather have a puppy? At least you can leave them alone in the house for a few hours while you run errands.

Anyway, I’m getting off subject. If I had a kid, I’d dress it up like something fun every day. At FrightCatalog.com you can find lots of fun outfits for the same price or less than the cost of normal vanilla baby outfits that you’d find elsewhere.

Little Damion, you want to be Superman today? Hell yeah kiddo! Go save the world! The other kids might try to make fun of him, but I mean, how can you -really- make fun of Superman? He’ll kick your ass. Same goes with Batman or a Stormtrooper. Your kid will start a trend in the school yard. Soon, every kid will want it to be Halloween everyday.

Shrek Infant Toddler Costume

Bonus: The kid will use his imagination! Dressing up in different characters encourages the brain to think outside the box. He will also gain confidence. The more you encourage his awesomeness, the more awesome he will be.

It’s also fun to have to dress the kid up because it’s like having a new character everyday instead of a child. It’s entertainment for the parent. Dress him up like a Rockstar and bring him to a Korn concert. The babes will be all over you that’s for sure. Try dressing him up like a Stormtrooper and tell him that Luke Skywalker called and needs him to clean his room to save the world. Kids are gullible. By dressing him up, you make him more gullible. He’ll feel like cleaning his room is his duty to save the world!

He won’t eat his greens? Dress him up like Shrek and tell him Shrek needs to eat green to stay green! Trust me, he’ll eat his greens.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Why live in a boring world? Imagination starts at youth. Make it Halloween every day and not only will you have a constant source of entertainment, but your kid will grow up brighter and way more awesome then those vanilla Gap babies. Make a stand. Viva Halloween!

So…being the fair and liberal journalist that I am, I tried to think of other possible uses for babies, perhaps something a little more politically correct.

I couldn’t do it.

Babies are bald, puffy, bite sized old men. They have no motor skills and basically just flop around and cry and poop themselves all day. The only time you will catch em smiling is when they get the poop out and when they get to bask in the glory of having you clean it for them. Not only did you suffer 9 months of carrying them around in your belly (or dealing with the woman that did), you are expected to wait on them hand and foot. Those elitist bastards! What good are they?  If we have to have babies in this world, the best thing we can do is make them pleasant to look at.

At frightcatalog.com we have the solution (though not the politically correct solution) to your baby woes. Forget the bibs and the cutsey dresses and typical designer baby outfits you buy your spawn to fit into society. Turn your baby into something useful and/or likable.

Horse Infant Costume

Do you remember when you were little and all you ever wanted was a pony? You sat in class daydreaming what your horsey would look like and all the hours you would spend at the barn brushing his mane and tail and giving him kisses? You knew that when you got your very own horse you would be the luckiest girl in the world…. and then… you met Johnny and got knocked up. You pushed your dreams of horses aside and imagined a life with Johnny and your new baby. You would be a stay at home mom and he would work and pay the bills. Perfect family.

But then Johnny watched you get fat and moody. He ditched you on prom night for the thin and non stretchmarked cheerleading captain while you sat in the corner in your pregnancy prom dress carrying the spawn of satan. I know how hopeless you feel, but cheer up! You can still live your dreams! We have for you the Horse Infant Costume available for less than the cost of a month’s birth control prescription. You can even put peanut butter to the roof of his mouth and make him talk like Mr Ed. Odds are the baby will still smell worse than a horse, but at least if he is dressed like one it will make it more enjoyable to clean.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

If that doesn’t work for you, I’ve got plenty more ideas in my head on just how to make your baby more appealing and/or useful for society. I have heard your cries and I have provided a solution! We don’t have to eat them to enjoy them.

Disclaimer: We do not endorse riding of your horse baby. It may result in suffocation and subsequent death.

Prince Charming Elite Collection Adult Plus Costum

You saw his picture on Facebook. He was a friend of a friend. You requested him. He accepted. You looked at all his photos and were enamored. You found his status updates entertaining and exchanged various silly posts to each others walls. One fateful day your Prince asks you out on a date. So you spend all night doing your hair and makeup and choosing just the right outfit. You look ravishing! Finally your Prince Charming rings the doorbell and you prepare yourself to be swept away.

He is a little late picking you up, but your Prince explains that he got caught in rush hour so that is a valid excuse. Oh wait, you just remembered that it’s Saturday, no traffic. Well, at any rate, he’s there now so you are prepared to enjoy yourself. He doesn’t have any flowers, but that is such an old tradition that you don’t let it bother you. He smiles at you and you feel yourself melt into his perfect symmetrical dimples.

Empress Adult Costume

Suddenly his smile fades to an almost blase expression. “Oh. You are wearing that?” he disapprovingly utters. You are shocked. You look down at your outfit that you spent all day picking out. “You…you don’t like it?” you stammer. “No, it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s that you are so much prettier than that. ” he sneakily smiles. “I have something for you, my princess.” You are confused and your heart doesn’t know weather to drop or to fly. He takes your hand and leads you to his red hot Ferrari. He opens the door and hands you a Gucci shopping bag. You open the bag and pull out the sexiest red dress you’ve ever seen. Well this just seems to make up for everything! He really is a prince! How did you get so lucky? “Oh, my, gosh! It’s beautiful! Thank you!” you throw your arms around him for a hug.

He pushes you away. “Careful. I don’t want you to get all that makeup on my suit. It’s expensive.” he states matter of fact. You just assume he is joking. You invite him into your home so you can go change before your date. He declines the offer as his phone starts to ring. He tells you to be quick about it because dinner reservations are in 20 minutes and you still have to drive there. He seems to dismiss you with a wave of his hand while he answers his phone. You think to yourself that he is just busy with business. He got your such a gorgeous dress. No one has ever done that on the first date. With a Gucci in your hand, you can excuse just about anything this guy could do. He was just so handsome and rich. He was indeed your Prince Charming.

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

Just as you open the door to your house he cups his hand on his phone and yells at to you “Hey, keep the tags on, just in case the date doesn’t work out!” WHAT? Is he serious? Your brains starts spinning as you turn around to look back at him in shock. At that moment he starts laughing hysterically. “You should see your face!” he utters between giggles. “The dress is yours, Princess. Just no dessert for you. Don’t want you popping out of the dress too soon!” he snaps with a wink. Your Prince is a joker, you’ll give him that, but the way he calls you ‘Princess’ seems to excuse anything he can say or do. Not to mention the Gucci you are about to put on. This is going to be an interesting date to say the least.

…to be continued.

Imagine if we could solve poverty and world hunger at the same time? In 1979, Johnathan Swift published a classic satire essay that proposed a solution: sell the babies of the poor as a delicacy to rich English gentlemen. In this way he mocked high society and shed a light on class disparity  by his absurd proposition.

The website EatBabies.com was born (excuse the pun) in part to Swifts essay and also to celebrate satire in all forms (though, mostly that of eating babies). The site includes comics, art, and some fabulous recipes. Hungry? Try such entrees as Bab-B-Q Torso and follow with a dessert of Babyberry Pie. On a lighter diet? EatBabies.com has got your back! Babies can be a bit high in the fat department, but you can still go healthy with the Low Carb Baby Protein Shake.

Baby Bunting – Pizza Infant Costume

Some time ago, there were emails circulating that depicted an Asian man eating what appeared to be a cooked baby carcass. People were shocked. However, About.com delved into this Urban Legend and believe it to be a hoax. The pictures were traced back to an underground art exhibit after being rejected as “too controversial” by  curators of Shanghai 2000 Bienniale. The article suggests that the image could have been composed of doll parts and that if indeed the man was eating a real baby, he would have been arrested.

However, despite the hoaxes and satires, baby eating can be both fun and nutritious. We already know that placenta eating is popular in Chinese medicine and is also practiced in America to an extent. The placenta is loaded with nutrients and is said to have many healing properties. Well let’s not be so quick to disregard the baby itself. The meat is as delicate as veal. The high fat content and lack of muscle makes for a true delicacy.

If you are having a little bit of trouble stomaching the though of eating a baby- FrightCatalog has a solution. We carry all sorts of infant costumes to help the babies go down easier. Try a nice Italian entree of Baby Bunting Pizza followed by a chocolatey Tootsie Roll dessert, and for the more health conscious, the Banana Baby Infant Costume. Just slide on your favorite food costume, and your baby will be much more appealing to eat. TIP: babies are best served rare with a side of buttered peas and a nice Chianti.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: FrightCatalog does not endorse eating babies. The article is for entertainment purposes only.