Get it off me!

caterpillar

What the f is this thing.

Ok so just another spooky day at FrightCatalog.com right? Not so fast. I forgot my power cord at home so I ran home around lunch to pick it up. Leaving my house I saw a green tube crawling acroos my street. I was just going to keep driving and I wish I did. Of course curiosity kills the cat. I turned around, got out of the car and took a picture. I always have my handy Paper Mate pen with me so I put it down for reference.

When I put the pen down this think shrunk up a little so it’s even larger when its extended. In this picture this thing was about 4″, extended I could see it at 5″. Another weird thing was that it looks like it was twisting as it crawled.

The most horrifying part of this whole thing, besides the size, was the stinger on the end of it. The stinger was a good 1/4″ of pure horror.

Of course as I am writing this blog Shawn who sits next to me said he would eat it. Yea right.

White House Gatecrashers and Other Stupid Costume Ideas

Remember that wacky couple who crashed a state dinner at the White House last November, then went around like they were actually famous or something? It’s been reported that they somehow think the world gives enough of a shit about them to dress up in costumes of them for Halloween. I can’t be bothered to find a picture of these narcissists, so here’s a picture of a cool fountain instead, which sort of illustrates my reaction to the story:

Possessed Wall Fountain

But hey, if you think the White House Gatecrashers is a great and hilarious costume idea, here are some others you’ll probably like:

  • Some teenybopper who, like, totally snuck backstage at the Justin Bieber concert!
  • That 28-year-old dude who hooks the high school parties with beer as an excuse to hang out at them.
  • The kid who ran on the field at that Phillies game and got tasered (unless people can use real tasers on him).
  • Sparkly vampires (unless people can use real tasers on them).
  • Cardboard.

Parlay!

Pirates. Awesome.

South Park’s recent Fat Beard episode has inspired me to give ye an article worth plunderin for treasure.

If ye haven’t seen this adventure filled episode, well, shiver me timbers! Ye best be viewin’ it here:

Click to Watch! South Park: Fat Beard

Now for ye entertainment, Pirate Jokes!

Q: What is a Pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet?

A: Ya think it’s the RRRRRR but it’s really the C!

– check out more jokes at www.piratejokes.net

Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Captain Jack Sparrow Prestige Adult Costume

Now ye sorry sprogs, ye need to be brushin up on yer pirate speak so you can talk to the souls of the damned aboard this cursed vessel we call the internet. Here be some startin’ rules on how to be speakin like a true buccaneer:

  • Double up on all your adjectives and you’ll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of “a big ship”, they call it a “great, grand ship!” They never say never, they say “No nay ne’er!”
  • Drop all your “g”‘s when you speak and you’ll get words like “rowin'”, “sailin'” and “fightin'”. Dropping all of your “v”‘s will get you words like “ne’er”, “e’er” and “o’er”.
  • Instead of saying “I am”, sailors say, “I be”. Instead of saying “You are”, sailors say, “You be”. Instead of saying, “They are”, sailors say, “They be”. Ne’er speak in anythin’ but the present tense!

Elegant Pirate Lady Adult Costume

The above rules be commandeered from the fine website yarr.org. Ye best be viewin the rest of the website to brush up on all yer vocabulary. Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming up on the date of September 19th. Ye know I will be quizzin ye on your A…B…and Seas.

Once ye master the basics, turn ye Facebook into ye own furner. Scroll to the bottom left of ye Facebook homepage to where it says “English”. Change the writings to “English (Pirate)” and Avast! Ye are on ye way to a whole new adventure.

Now keep an eye on the horizon and a hand on the sail. I have one final treasure for ye. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is in the makin. This time Captain Jack Sparrow faces a wench from his past and also encounters the infamous Black Beard all while on a journey to find the booty of all booties, the fountain of youth. This ship be sailin in 2011.

Be sure to visit FrightCatalog.com for all of ye pirate needs. Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

Pirate Beer Mug

Want to Play a Game?

 

SawJigsaw Tobin Bell Mask Adult

Tobin Bell aka “Jigsaw” of the Saw movies is perhaps one of my favorite of all movie killers. He never really directly killed anyone or took a completely “innocent” victim. His victims were people with shady pasts who didn’t full appreciate life as they should. Jigsaw’s mission was to teach a lesson, and he did so but putting victims in sadistic torture games that they could get out of if they made the right move. Jigsaw is a smart and calculating man. His games are deliciously twisted.

What originally started as a low budget horror movie has turned into a multimillion dollar franchise. There has been a new Saw movie every year since the original Saw came out in theaters in 2004. There are costumes, video games, books, and even theme park attractions dedicated to the followers of the movies. Now with the 3D movie craze sweeping the nation, you can be on the look out for the seventh installment of the Saw series set to come out in theaters October, 2010. As long as the Saw movies keep coming, I will keep paying to get my fix of mind bending torture.

Click to Watch: Saw 3D Teaser Trailer

Saw Puppet Mask

If you can’t hold off another month, play this free online game to keep you occupied in the meantime. It’s harder then you think, but the code can be cracked. Don’t get discouraged if your victims have to die a few times before you get it right. After all, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Still want more? Great! I saved the best for last. It’s one thing to let two strangers suffer and die, but it’s another game when it’s your own life on the line.  Play JigSaw’s Game and put yourself in the torture chair. Stare yourself in the face as you sit in pure fear for your life. Are you smart enough and quick enough to get out alive? I wasn’t.

Shoes.

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, and I’m sorry if this comes off like “Sex in the City” or “Housewives of Ho-ho Kus” or one of those shows I don’t watch, but Fright Catalog carries an amazing array of shoes. Pages and pages of shoes. But, unlike the shoes the spoiled housewives covet, these shoes might have cool creepy designs like blood spatter and themes like sexy devil. They can be worn as part of an awesome Halloween costume, of course, but I can’t think of a reason you couldn’t wear them all the time, other than the heels might tire you out. Or make you stronger. Who knows.

Tart

Cherry-patterned “Tart” shoes — hello, how cute are these? I’m assuming these would go with a ’50s pinup type costume, but they’re too adorable to collect dust the rest of the year.

Devil Heels

The heels on these devil shoes are not as extreme as some of the others, making these black-and-red patent pumps almost  practical! A stylish accessory for a sexy devil costume that says HOT 365.

Black Cha Cha Boots


Nice girls don’t wear cha cha heels! Remember when Dawn Davenport (the late great Divine) ruined Christmas when she didn’t get her black cha cha heels in “Female Trouble”? Now they can be yours.

Red Blood Shoes

These blood-splattered beauties are currently out of stock, but keep your eyes peeled for a restock (the Devil heels were sold out a couple of weeks ago, so it can happen). These are perfect on many levels and can go with lots of costumes: sexy Chucky, Carrie, some kind of succubus… so many possibilities. They also come in black, which I kind of prefer, though I can’t get past the fact that the bloodstains wouldn’t show up on black shoes like that.

Resident Evil Afterlife=3D Milla Jovovich

Click to watch the cast talk about the movie at Comic Con 2010.

Our favorite string of zombie movies, Resident Evil, is back and better then ever…

Zombie 3-D Adult Costume

What could be more awesome then another round of sexy Milla Jovovich beating the crap out of zombies and other twisted Umbrella Corp science experiment creatures? Watching her do it in 3D of course!

Resident Evil Afterlife takes place in a world of the undead, plagued by the Umbrella Corp’s manufactured T-virus. Alice (Milla) is back on track collecting survivors and trying to bring people to a safe location…kicking zombie ass along the way. She is joined and aided by some familiar faces. Claire Redfield (Ali Larter) and K-Mart (Spencer Locke).

For some reason the search for safety takes them to Los Angeles. LA was never safe even when people weren’t walking around as blood thirsty zombies…. so I’m not quite sure what they were thinking but hey, it’s a movie. Nonetheless the group is LA bound. They may be heading into a trap before you can say “Zombie Snack!”.

Creeping Zombie

As far as the cast of characters growing, Milla Jovovich is like Batman. She is willing and more then capable of working alone. However, the more movies come out, the more Robin’s and Batgirls seem to be added. Eventually, the Resident Evil franchise may go back to their roots where Milla kicked ass all on her own without the help of sidekicks. In the meantime, I’ll just enjoy the 3D zombie killing action.

Look out for this movie coming out to a theater near you September 10th.

Pretty, Pretty, Princess

What girl hasn’t dreamt of being a princess? Well, maybe not Cara Maria, but pretty much everyone else. It’s understandable why it would be appealing: getting to wear pretty dresses, having a lot of sparkly crap, spending all day petting cute animals, eating cupcakes for breakfast, and so on (kind of makes up for the whole “forced marriage thing”, but I digress). In celebration, I’ve decided to make a list of my favorite fictional princesses.

Princess Peach

1. Princess Peach

She may wear pink, but Peach is not a stereotypical princess. Although she has mostly been the damsel in distress, she’s done her fair bit of saving as well. Her peachiness does not take away from her bad-assery. She is not afraid to race cars, kill Goombas, and kick general Bowser ass. Also, in SMB2, she could float. Awesome.

Medea

2. Medea

Imagine this: you’re sitting at home, learning witchcraft, minding your own business, when all of a sudden, this total dreamboat shows up at your door. He’s adventurous, handsome, and sweeps you off your feet. He says he needs help getting this weird golden fleece, and promises to marry you if you help him. So you essentially do the work for him, he takes all the credit, and then leaves you for some stupid wench in Corinth. Do you sit back and take it? No. You send that bitch a poisoned wedding dress.

Sleeping Beauty

3. Sleeping Beauty

I love taking naps. I can’t imagine how awesome a 100 year nap would be, especially if it ended with a total beefcake making out with you and a dance session in the sky. Also, she’s got the best outfits out of the Disney Princesses.

Ozma

4. Ozma of Oz

Ozma is one of the most interesting princesses in modern literature. Given to a witch as a baby by her dictator father, she lived the first thirteen years of her life as “Tip”, a young boy (how she couldn’t figure out she was a girl on her own, I have no idea). After being transformed back into a girl by Glinda the Good Witch, she was installed as Oz’s queen, where she rules to this day, albeit, with a little bit of gender confusion.

Arwen

5. Arwen Evenstar

Half-human and half-elf, Arwen is one of the heroines in J.R.R. Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, where she acts as a helping figure to Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship. She also gives up her immortality in order to marry her boyfriend, which is kind of sweet, if you think about it.

Deliver Me to Hell

When I used to drive pizza, I would sometimes play this game in my head where all of the shadowy figures wandering the neighborhoods for whatever reason where the undead. I would mentally log the places with the most severe zombie infestations, usually while blasting Diemonsterdie on the car stereo. Sometimes this game freaked me out so bad I could hardly stand it–yet I still played it. You need to be aware of your surroundings when you’re a pizza driver, just like you’ll have to be when the zombie apocalypse hits. Plus, I figured that when it did hit, that job would be one of the most important jobs out there, next to renegade biker and mercenary. Survivors have to eat, after all.

click to view video

So, it was with great interest that I viewed “Deliver Me to Hell,” an interactive short film from New Zealand’s Hell Pizza, about a pizza driver who valiantly sets out to make his delivery in the middle of the zombie uprising. It’s sort of a “choose your own adventure” game (click on the still to watch, and make sure annotations are turned on), where players who make it to the delivery in one piece are eligible to win a year of free Hell Pizza. The downside, for most of our FrightCatalog.com readers, is that you have to be a resident of New Zealand to win all that free pizza; the upside is that you can still watch from wherever you are and play along, and maybe order yourself a pizza locally. Don’t forget to tip your driver!

Via Dread Central

“Sexy Costumes” :The Strange and Unusual

We all know Halloween is every girl’s excuse to dress like a slut. Except the girls like to call it “sexy”. There is nothing wrong with this and I do highly encourage it. However, it seems like the costume industry is running out of ideas for “sexy women’s costumes” so they are expanding “sexy” to places they probably shouldn’t be going.

Naughty cop, sexy maid, sexy nurse, sexy sailor, naughty sexy school girl, you get the idea… These all pass as part of the sexy Halloween trademark. However, I’ve compiled a list directly from Frightcatalog.com of costumes that seem to beg the question “what are they thinking?!”

Transformers Optimus Prime Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume

6. Sexy Optimus Prime: OK, I can see “sexy” popping immediately into one’s head when the word “transformers” is uttered. However, the brain would connect “sexy” to a certain “fox” rather than an “Optimus Prime”- but I guess everyone deserves a chance….

Sexy Chucky Adult Costume

5. Sexy Chucky: When Child’s Play came out I never thought I’d see the day that a sexy costume of the killer doll would be available in the future. That movie gave me nightmares for years and also resulted in mass dumpster visits of most of my dolls. I will say though, despite the trauma this movie caused me… in some sick way this costume turns me on. I kinda dig it. I want it. Kudos costume manufacturer for making this work.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…gone wild. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but something doesn’t sit right with me. Rachel was supposed to be the babe amongst all the green. Perhaps this is another case of “fox” vs “transformers”. I don’t know. I guess I could go with it…especially if said Halloween slut wore those boots. mmmmm turtle power.

Family Guy Sexy Brian Adult Costume

3. Brian… Family Guy: Now we are getting to the strange and unusual. Seriously, who came up with this? I think the real Brian would be offended. Or turned on perhaps. Or flattered. Never mind. I guess it could be worse…. sexy Stewie anyone? Maybe it’s already in the works for Halloween 2011.

Sesame Street Big Bird Sexy Female Adult Costume

2. Sexy Big Bird? Now you’ve taken it too far! This is my childhood we are talking about. Anyone who could find anything sexy about big bird has got to have some childhood issues they haven’t dealt with. I find this very disturbing… and believe me I am into some weird sh**. I mean hey….whatever tickles your pickle I guess. Who am I to judge.

SpongeBob Squarepants Sexy SpongeBob Adult Costume

1. Sexy Sponge Bob.

Really? This is a real costume and the word “sexy” is used in the title. I want to make a joke about crabby patties or something but I really don’t think I even have to.

There you have it- the top six strange sexy costumes according to your Halloween Harlot. What will they come out with next?