Dia De Los Muertos

La Calavera Catrina

Or, the Day of the Dead to us Americans. I first learned about this holiday when reading Ray Bradbury’s “The Halloween Tree” (which, if you haven’t read it, I suggest going out and getting a copy ASAP). Although we usually associate this holiday with Mexico, it actually is found throughout Latin America. It is closely tied with the Catholic holy day, All Soul’s Day, which falls on the day after Halloween, and is celebrated throughout the world (albeit, a little less awesomely, IMHO). Dia de los Muertos is centered around one idea- to honor the dead. This is done by giving presents to children and other living family members, as well as preparing special types of food, such as sugar skulls or pan de muerto (a sweet egg bread). It’s traditional to leave food out for the dead, either by offering them a literal place at the family table, or by leaving offerings of food on their graves. Figurines depicting skeletons (calaveras catrinas) in everyday situations are made and sold to be displayed in the home.

Instead of the same old Halloween party, try throwing a Day of the Dead celebration. Dress up like calaveras, make some delicious Mexican food, and raise a toast to those who have gone before us. However, be careful. You may get some visitors that you didn’t expect. ;)

Pan de Muerto (Thanks to Allrecipes)

  • 1/4 cup margarine
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons anise seed
  • 1/4 cup white sugar
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 2 teaspoons orange zest
  • 1/4 cup white sugar
  • 1/4 cup orange juice
  • 1 tablespoon orange zest
  • 2 tablespoons white sugar

Directions

  1. Heat the milk and the butter together in a medium saucepan, until the butter melts. Remove from the heat and add them warm water. The mixture should be around 110 degrees F (43 degrees C).
  2. In a large bowl combine 1 cup of the flour, yeast, salt, anise seed and 1/4 cup of the sugar. Beat in the warm milk mixture then add the eggs and orange zest and beat until well combined. Stir in 1/2 cup of flour and continue adding more flour until the dough is soft.
  3. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic.
  4. Place the dough into a lightly greased bowl cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size. This will take about 1 to 2 hours. Punch the dough down and shape it into a large round loaf with a round knob on top. Place dough onto a baking sheet, loosely cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place for about 1 hour or until just about doubled in size.
  5. Bake in a preheated 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) oven for about 35 to 45 minutes. Remove from oven let cool slightly then brush with glaze.
  6. To make glaze: In a small saucepan combine the 1/4 cup sugar, orange juice and orange zest. Bring to a boil over medium heat and boil for 2 minutes. Brush over top of bread while still warm. Sprinkle glazed bread with white sugar.

For The Love of Elvira

As a kid growing up in the 80s and 90s, I was exposed to a lot of Elvira, no pun intended. There is so much to love about Elvira- not only is she a very attractive lady, but she’s witty to boot. One of my favorite movies was/is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. The synopsis basically is as follows: Elvira is sexually harassed by her boss and quits her job. She finds out that she has inherited a house in a conservative town in Massachusetts. When she arrives, she is not accepted by the community due to her eccentric lifestyle, but eventually wins over the younger crowd, opening their minds up to new possibilities. Basically, it’s “Footloose” with more boobs and less good dialogue. I highly suggest checking it out, if only to see this amazing outfit:

Speaking of amazing outfits, did you know that Elvira’s costume is one of the best-selling costumes of all time? Continue the trend and pick up one at FrightCatalog tonight!

5 Awesome Costumes for Men

I’m feeling a little inspired by a previous post. Being rad on Halloween is not limited to the ladies only- men can join in, too. Here’s a list of my favorite costumes for men.

METALLLLLLLLL! *guitar solo*

Milady, may I interest you in a glass of absinthe before the fire?

One man, hundreds of women.

Androids are robots that look like people. Cyborgs are people with robot parts. Whatever.

Pizza rules.

Wedding Belles

I just got back from my best friend’s wedding in Maryland. During my time there, I learned some very strange things about weddings. Firstly, everyone knows that the modern reason for bridesmaids is to get drunk and embarassingly hit on the groom’s brother. However, the original reason is a little more badass and less known- back in Olden Times, people believed that the devil and his minions only existed to muck up people’s lives, especially the lives of happy folks. So, what makes people really happy? Getting married to one another. To solve this problem, the bride surrounded herself with other young women in fancy dresses in order to confuse any imps or devils about, and prevent them from doing any devilish deeds to the bride to be. Hence, bridesmaids.

Also, tossing the bouquet has some interesting origins (I mean throwing flowers. Get your mind out of the gutter.). Since a woman’s sole purpose in life is to get married and sire non-bastard children for her husband, a bride was considered to be especially lucky. Flowers symbolized fertility and were a piece of the bride’s good luck, so when the bride threw the bouquet to one of her single friends, it was God’s way of saying, “Hey girl, stop talking to your cat and get yourself a man.” Obviously God has never seen 9 to 5, but I digress.

Despite the annoyingness of modern weddings, let’s be thankful that some traditions died out, like hanging the sheets outside the window after the wedding night to prove virginity, having to eat fruitcake, and the bride turning into a zombie. Wait…

Born Again Virgin.

Bone Appetit

Picture an underground pirate dungeon in the middle of a quiet village in Prague, filled with human skulls and fire. It was as if it was created just for me.

I was down in the depths with my pirate crew. There were fire dancers and sword fights and mugs of beer as far as the eye could see. Just when the drums were really heating up, I was called out for being a witch. I had been accused of having sex with the devil. My own crew betrayed me and I was taken away. After a fire cleanse, Holy Water sprinkle, and a branding, I was born again a virgin. A miracle!

Click to Watch!

If you have been having sex with the devil and need to be renewed…. sorry, unless you have a plane ticket to Prague and a key to the dungeon, you are out of luck. You should just accept your fate as a witch and dress the part.

On that note… check out the killer collection of witch costumes at FrightCatalog.com

Happy Hauntings ;)

Sorceress Costume

Creepy Music to “Get Down” to

So, I’m weird. We all know that. I’d like to think everyone has a little bit of weird in them. If not- keep reading my blogs and maybe I’ll rub off on you.

I enjoy blasting Danny Elfman while frolicking around my house by candle light. If I close my eyes I can pretend I’m in one of Tim Burton’s fantastical movies. I’m instantly taken away to fantasy land. Yes. I do this.

There aren’t many Danny Elfman like composers out there, however, and Halloween music/CDs tend to be very cheesy. Your options are “Monster Mash”, fake screams, and cliche mad scientist laughs. Now, thankfully, we have a better option. In fact, I dare say these songs are downright sexy. I’d play them on Halloween…. and every night in between (Of course, if you know me, you’d know Halloween is every day for me, but that is besides the point).

Fangoria Magazine's DVD of the Month (OCT 2010)

What is this sexy creepy music you ask? None other than Midnight Syndicate.

Their Halloween Music Collection CD is a mix of piano, Halloween, and sex (not literally, don’t worry). I love it. It’s far from the usual Halloween CD’s you’ll find everywhere else.

Also, if you are looking for a good fright, check out the trailer for their horror movie (and Fangoria Magazine’s Horror Movie of the Month)  “The Dead Matter”. It’s creepy as hell.

Midnight Syndicate

“Midnight Syndicate’s long-awaited dark fantasy film directed and scored by Edward Douglas and co-produced by Gary Jones and Robert Kurtzman. The Dead Matter tells the story of a guilt-ridden young woman (Sean Serino) desperate to contact her deceased brother who discovers a powerful ancient relic that controls the dead. Her dark obsession drags her into the tangled world of two warring vampire lords (Andrew Divoff of Lost , Wishmaster and Tom Savini of Friday the 13th, Dawn of the Dead), each with his own sinister plans for the artifact, and a vampire hunter (Jason Carter of Babylon 5) who will stop at nothing to destroy it. Classic horror themes with modern twists and a touch of dark humor that will keep you on the edge of your seat.”

Halloween is fast approaching and you guys need to escape your problems for a while and get into the season. So sit back… light some candles…. run a bubble bath… relax to some sexy devil music… and don’t forget to look in the mirror to catch a glimpse of the scary dead dude with a knife in his hand. They usually go hand in hand with bubble baths don’t they?

Check out Midnight Syndicate’s facebook page for more info.

5 Sexy Costumes for Men (occupations)

Occupations* chapter.

I’m feeling frisky.

Halloween isn’t just for kids and women. Men, you better dress up too!

You have a school girl fantasy? That’s nice, but us girls have a fire fighter fantasy. If you want me to dress up like your sexy nurse, you better be ready return the favor as my sexy surgeon.

Here is a list of hot costumes that you can wear on Halloween… and save em for later in the bedroom as well. It’s a Win/Win!

Medical Scrub Suit

Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news! I’ve got a bad case of lovin’ you! – Robert Palmer. Yes, the Doctor costume. Whether you sport the lab coat, the scrubs or the OB-GYN badge… the ladies will come. We can’t help but want to live out our McDreamy fantasy. You can’t go wrong here.

Fireman Adult Costume

Ohhhhhh Fireman! Strong and sexy and running into a burning building to save the family kitty. You can’t help but love a fireman. They don’t give you speeding tickets, they save your life. These are the good guys. Put this costume on though and you might just be starting fires rather then putting them out.

Bounty Hunter Adult Costume

I don’t know if this is a real occupation, but I’m going to go with it. It’s part cowboy, part outlaw/law dude. Either way, I’m digging it. Any type of cowboy is good for me. This is hot. Wear it. For me. Tell me I’ve been a bad bad cowgirl.

Police Officer Adult Costume

Up until recently, I would say stay far away from cop costumes. However, I had a man play this act very, very, right with me. I was a bad inmate… but he was a very bad cop. It worked. I recommend it. Either way it will be fun to see people look at you twice on Halloween, unsure of weather you are the real deal or not. Play it up and have fun.

Adult Pilot Costume

There’s a silent respect for pilots, unlike the forced respect you get from cops. I always had a sweet spot for pilots. Also, after many women watched the recent Bachelor, it may just be the ideal time to whip our your wings. See who wants to join your mile high club.

These are some fun, classic, sexy occupational costumes for men. I’ve got plenty more where this came from. Check out FrightCatalog.com because if these costumes don’t do it for you, we’ve got a million other ones that will!

Happy Haunting!

Jersey Shore

After a horrible week, I decided to spend my Friday night relaxing with a bottle of white zinfandel and my favorite cast of ethic stereotypes on the Jersey Shore. I had been lax in keeping up with this season- somehow watching a bunch of people talk about tanning is seen as less worthwhile than doing homework. After a 4 hour marathon, I am finally caught up, and I have a few observations I would like to share.

1. Smash vs Smush: At first, I thought that these terms were interchangeable. However, I have learned that “smushing” is done with someone who is “wife/husband material” and smashing is done only with sluts. An important distinction!

2. The only difference between “grenades” and “hot girls” is based solely on their willingness to touch a boner, not physical attractiveness.

3. There is a “G” in “sandwich”.

4. If you want to become wife or husband material, you must: 1. Be from Eastern Europe or Latin America, 2. Have interests outside of wearing stretch jersey and binge drinking, and 3. Buy your paramour something desirable, such as a Fossil watch. However,

5. If you buy a girl a Fossil watch, she will not have sex with you. Talk about a Catch-22!

6. Uncle Nino.

7. Pads and tampons are the same thing, especially if they belong “a dirty little hamster”.

8. J-Woww’s boobs do not follow the laws of physics.

9. Getting into a fistfight is an acceptable way to say goodbye.

10. “Tan” is an ethnicity.