I’m feeling a little inspired by a previous post. Being rad on Halloween is not limited to the ladies only- men can join in, too. Here’s a list of my favorite costumes for men.
I just got back from my best friend’s wedding in Maryland. During my time there, I learned some very strange things about weddings. Firstly, everyone knows that the modern reason for bridesmaids is to get drunk and embarassingly hit on the groom’s brother. However, the original reason is a little more badass and less known- back in Olden Times, people believed that the devil and his minions only existed to muck up people’s lives, especially the lives of happy folks. So, what makes people really happy? Getting married to one another. To solve this problem, the bride surrounded herself with other young women in fancy dresses in order to confuse any imps or devils about, and prevent them from doing any devilish deeds to the bride to be. Hence, bridesmaids.
Also, tossing the bouquet has some interesting origins (I mean throwing flowers. Get your mind out of the gutter.). Since a woman’s sole purpose in life is to get married and sire non-bastard children for her husband, a bride was considered to be especially lucky. Flowers symbolized fertility and were a piece of the bride’s good luck, so when the bride threw the bouquet to one of her single friends, it was God’s way of saying, “Hey girl, stop talking to your cat and get yourself a man.” Obviously God has never seen 9 to 5, but I digress.
Despite the annoyingness of modern weddings, let’s be thankful that some traditions died out, like hanging the sheets outside the window after the wedding night to prove virginity, having to eat fruitcake, and the bride turning into a zombie. Wait…
Picture an underground pirate dungeon in the middle of a quiet village in Prague, filled with human skulls and fire. It was as if it was created just for me.
I was down in the depths with my pirate crew. There were fire dancers and sword fights and mugs of beer as far as the eye could see. Just when the drums were really heating up, I was called out for being a witch. I had been accused of having sex with the devil. My own crew betrayed me and I was taken away. After a fire cleanse, Holy Water sprinkle, and a branding, I was born again a virgin. A miracle!
If you have been having sex with the devil and need to be renewed…. sorry, unless you have a plane ticket to Prague and a key to the dungeon, you are out of luck. You should just accept your fate as a witch and dress the part.
So, I’m weird. We all know that. I’d like to think everyone has a little bit of weird in them. If not- keep reading my blogs and maybe I’ll rub off on you.
I enjoy blasting Danny Elfman while frolicking around my house by candle light. If I close my eyes I can pretend I’m in one of Tim Burton’s fantastical movies. I’m instantly taken away to fantasy land. Yes. I do this.
There aren’t many Danny Elfman like composers out there, however, and Halloween music/CDs tend to be very cheesy. Your options are “Monster Mash”, fake screams, and cliche mad scientist laughs. Now, thankfully, we have a better option. In fact, I dare say these songs are downright sexy. I’d play them on Halloween…. and every night in between (Of course, if you know me, you’d know Halloween is every day for me, but that is besides the point).
What is this sexy creepy music you ask? None other than Midnight Syndicate.
Their Halloween Music Collection CD is a mix of piano, Halloween, and sex (not literally, don’t worry). I love it. It’s far from the usual Halloween CD’s you’ll find everywhere else.
Also, if you are looking for a good fright, check out the trailer for their horror movie (and Fangoria Magazine’s Horror Movie of the Month)Â “The Dead Matter”. It’s creepy as hell.
“Midnight Syndicate’s long-awaited dark fantasy film directed and scored by Edward Douglas and co-produced by Gary Jones and Robert Kurtzman. The Dead Matter tells the story of a guilt-ridden young woman (Sean Serino) desperate to contact her deceased brother who discovers a powerful ancient relic that controls the dead. Her dark obsession drags her into the tangled world of two warring vampire lords (Andrew Divoff of Lost , Wishmaster and Tom Savini of Friday the 13th, Dawn of the Dead), each with his own sinister plans for the artifact, and a vampire hunter (Jason Carter of Babylon 5) who will stop at nothing to destroy it. Classic horror themes with modern twists and a touch of dark humor that will keep you on the edge of your seat.”
Halloween is fast approaching and you guys need to escape your problems for a while and get into the season. So sit back… light some candles…. run a bubble bath… relax to some sexy devil music… and don’t forget to look in the mirror to catch a glimpse of the scary dead dude with a knife in his hand. They usually go hand in hand with bubble baths don’t they?
Check out Midnight Syndicate’s facebook page for more info.
I’m feeling frisky.
Halloween isn’t just for kids and women. Men, you better dress up too!
You have a school girl fantasy? That’s nice, but us girls have a fire fighter fantasy. If you want me to dress up like your sexy nurse, you better be ready return the favor as my sexy surgeon.
Here is a list of hot costumes that you can wear on Halloween… and save em for later in the bedroom as well. It’s a Win/Win!
Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news! I’ve got a bad case of lovin’ you! – Robert Palmer. Yes, the Doctor costume. Whether you sport the lab coat, the scrubs or the OB-GYN badge… the ladies will come. We can’t help but want to live out our McDreamy fantasy. You can’t go wrong here.
Ohhhhhh Fireman! Strong and sexy and running into a burning building to save the family kitty. You can’t help but love a fireman. They don’t give you speeding tickets, they save your life. These are the good guys. Put this costume on though and you might just be starting fires rather then putting them out.
I don’t know if this is a real occupation, but I’m going to go with it. It’s part cowboy, part outlaw/law dude. Either way, I’m digging it. Any type of cowboy is good for me. This is hot. Wear it. For me. Tell me I’ve been a bad bad cowgirl.
Up until recently, I would say stay far away from cop costumes. However, I had a man play this act very, very, right with me. I was a bad inmate… but he was a very bad cop. It worked. I recommend it. Either way it will be fun to see people look at you twice on Halloween, unsure of weather you are the real deal or not. Play it up and have fun.
There’s a silent respect for pilots, unlike the forced respect you get from cops. I always had a sweet spot for pilots. Also, after many women watched the recent Bachelor, it may just be the ideal time to whip our your wings. See who wants to join your mile high club.
These are some fun, classic, sexy occupational costumes for men. I’ve got plenty more where this came from. Check out FrightCatalog.com because if these costumes don’t do it for you, we’ve got a million other ones that will!
After a horrible week, I decided to spend my Friday night relaxing with a bottle of white zinfandel and my favorite cast of ethic stereotypes on the Jersey Shore. I had been lax in keeping up with this season- somehow watching a bunch of people talk about tanning is seen as less worthwhile than doing homework. After a 4 hour marathon, I am finally caught up, and I have a few observations I would like to share.
1. Smash vs Smush: At first, I thought that these terms were interchangeable. However, I have learned that “smushing” is done with someone who is “wife/husband material” and smashing is done only with sluts. An important distinction!
2. The only difference between “grenades” and “hot girls” is based solely on their willingness to touch a boner, not physical attractiveness.
3. There is a “G” in “sandwich”.
4. If you want to become wife or husband material, you must: 1. Be from Eastern Europe or Latin America, 2. Have interests outside of wearing stretch jersey and binge drinking, and 3. Buy your paramour something desirable, such as a Fossil watch. However,
5. If you buy a girl a Fossil watch, she will not have sex with you. Talk about a Catch-22!
6. Uncle Nino.
7. Pads and tampons are the same thing, especially if they belong “a dirty little hamster”.
8. J-Woww’s boobs do not follow the laws of physics.
9. Getting into a fistfight is an acceptable way to say goodbye.
10. “Tan” is an ethnicity.
WARNING: you probably won’t like what you are about to read. If you are easily offended… don’t read it. If you are open to everything super weird and don’t take things seriously (this is clearly completely made up ) then please continue…..
You guys are the ones thinking it, so why not feed the fire?
Let me take you on an intimate journey…. into the depths of my awesomeness.
First come walk with me through my chamber. The walls, ceiling, and floors are going to move around a bit so try to keep your balance. Don’t worry about the skeletons. They won’t hurt you, they are already dead. duh. Or was it not the skeletons you were worried about? In any case, please excuse the mess. My slave boys have been doing a bad job cleaning up… so now they are a bit… tied up. I’ll introduce them to you in a minute….
Oh… look out… that’s Jack, my ex. He had a bit too much of the rum and ran off with some wenches without me. We had a little talk and everything is fine now. In fact, he always seems to be hanging around. Kisses baby!
Now if you will step this way….
Let me show you my absolute most prized possession. By possession, I mean possessed. Meet the little one. You guys are all curious about this bed breaking “devil sex”… Well here is the bi-product of a freakish yet loving environment. Isn’t she just darling? She has my eyes. Careful, don’t get too close. She hasn’t fed yet today and when she’s really hungry she’ll spin her head around and vomit at you.
Keep walking with me please.
If you look right ahead I’d like to show you my behavioral reinforcement table. Just ignore this man laying here. He is a disappointment. He likes to dress like a show pony and have me train him… yet in our last session he failed numerous times to pick up his leads as a proper show pony should. He also spoke out when disciplined. Ponies do not speak. Therefore he has to go through the shocks. I keep the hood on at all times of course. Here let me turn on the shocks for you. He needs to learn his lesson anyway…..
Speaking of bad boys. Here is #359 (the slaves here live by numbers, not names). This one failed to clean my chambers properly after one of my sessions. He even forgot which floggers go where. I’m very upset with him. He has been in the stocks for a couple of weeks. I let his feet free so he can move about and clean the floors with a broom in his mouth. He’s learning slowly but surely. If he keeps up the good work I may let him out soon!
Finally, meet Larry. He kept getting excited on me… despite numerous warnings not to. So I blindfolded him and let him play with my pets. I don’t think it will be a problem anymore.
That concludes the tour. I hope you enjoyed looking into my world. So… are we still on for that dinner and a movie date or what?
It’s finally fall, which means it’s about time for my favorite fall-related activity, apple picking. I know you are saying to yourself, “But Megan, you can buy apples in the grocery store. Why would you want to pick them yourself?” I’ll tell you- it rules. There is nothing like climbing up in a tree to pick fruit, dodging angry bees, and trying not to get pesticide in your face that makes you feel quite so human. Also, they charge you only for the apples that you bring after you’ve picked them, not the ones that you eat on the way out. So economical!
So what do you do with the 10 lbs of apples that you spend the day picking? Thankfully, apples are an extremely versatile fruit. Chop them up and put them in a salad, bake them whole, or just eat them raw. One of my favorite apple recipes is apple crisp, which I’ve decided to share with you all (this one is adapted from the Betty Crocker recipe, which is also delicious).
4 c. tart apples, sliced
3/4 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. flour
1/2 rolled oats
1/2 c. butter, softened
2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease an 8-inch baking pan and set aside. Spread apples in pan. Mix together oats, sugar, 1/3 c. butter, and spice in a medium bowl. Dot apples with small pieces of remaining butter and spread oat mixture over them. Bake for 30 minutes or until top is browned. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.
As you will soon learn on MTV’s Cut Throat challenge in Prague… things aren’t always as they seem.
I’ll let the story unfold to you as it will, but after living in this haunted castle, I really do believe in ghosts. Many things went bump in the night, and not just in the Gray team bedroom.
There is something we were not supposed to know about. The house we now called home had been vacant for years before we invaded it with our drunken ignorant American ways. The audio equipment, the cameras, the lights, the Challenge cast…. We disturbed something. There were some things not meant to be seen and not meant to be messed with. We poked… we joked… and then we were given signs that we were not welcome there.
There is a room in that house that is considered sacred. This room is off limits… but a few of us didn’t listen. Two of the people who messed with the spirits of the house have already been eliminated in an intense Gulag. Coincidence?
I won’t reveal anything just yet, but keep your eyes wide and your mind open for the supernatural.
In the meantime… check out some rad props from FrightCatalog.com to turn your own place into a Haunted Mansion. (spirits of dead ghost girls are not included)
While pondering my own life’s “bucket list”, I have concluded that running into a gas chamber and having to solve a mind boggling puzzle while in the midst of it would not be on that list.
However, you only live once. I can now check off “gas chamber” on my list of things I’ve done.
If you haven’t been in one, let me describe this glorious experience to you. First, if you wear contacts, take them off of they will melt into your skull. True story. Now, you can barely speak because your throat and nose is on fire with pins and needles. You can’t see because your eyes are burning off of your face. You can’t think because for god sakes you can’t breathe. But, oh yeah, throw in a puzzle on top of that and realize that if you don’t get it right, you have to go back in. Welcome to my world.
As painful as that experience was. I have to say that I am thrilled that I can say I did it. In fact, if you are ever in the middle of Prague and competing for a shit ton of money, I’d say throw a keg party in the chamber and get down with your bad self.
But be weary, the more exposure to that stuff you get, the more likely you are to see these guys floating around you.
Be prepared. Get the mask.
Relive the Experience with me here: