I’ve got a fever.

and the only prescription is….

MORE COWBELL!

COWBELL

I’m just saying.

I’ve been watching Saturday Night Live the Best of Christopher Walken and laughing my ass of for the past two days in a row.

One of the best skits ever features Christopher Walken as a producer during the band’s recording of “Fear the Reaper”.

Will Farrell does cowbell.

The only thing this article needs is more cowbell.

On that note…. choose your own cowbell in your favorite color and party on.

All that Cowbell must have made you thirsty….Oh Wow. woweewowwowwow. Please. Let me offer you. CHAMPAGNA. Please. champagna. It goes right down. Each bubble. It goes down like the story of your life. Enjoy”

Celebrity Tribute to Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe Ballerina Adult Costume

Marilyn Monroe has to be one of the most emulated and copied figures of Hollywood. Celebrities look back to her style and classic beauty as a standard for the red carpet. Many have even replicated old photo shoots of her.

I’ve put together a bunch of images of celebs rocking the Monroe. Who do you think did it best?

If you think you can do it better then these celebs, FrightCatalog has you stacked for your next Marilyn tribute. Don’t forget the red lipstick!

Angelina, a classic beauty herself, is reminiscent of Marilyn here

Scarlett Johanson

Madonna has almost made a living off of rocking her own Marilyn style.

Britney Spears does her own take

Lindsay Lohan and her Marilyn tribute

Christina Aguilera rocks the Marilyn.

Anna Nicole Smith emulated Marilyn and tragically they both died young

Kelly Carlson from Nip/Tuck- one of the main reasons I ever watched the show. Her style was Marilyn in raw sex form. Three cheers for Kelly!

Katherina Heigl from Grey’s Anatomy sports the Marilyn hair and red lip stick for a red carpet event.

Jenna Jameson  hits the Marilyn dead on.

Cara Maria Hair.

You guys keep asking how I do my the dreads in my hair and how I do the beads and how I keep the red in.

Well

I’m going to make a video about all of that. It’s not as complicated as it looks.

Here are the steps to get you by before I air the tutorial:

1. Bleach the hair. Flash lightning kits 30 volume work best. Pick random piece of hair you want to be colored and bleach it til it turns the color of a banana peel.

2. Pravana CHROMASILK hair color. That’s the shit you use. I’m telling you. It LASTS and it’s cheap. And I like cheap.

Jack Sparrow Adult Scarf with Dreads: instant cara pirate. and it’s only temporary! Perhaps this is a better route?

3. Dreads? Take random hair from Claire’s or Hot Topic. The clip in stuff. I like it because it’s not real hair and it dreads after being washed a few times. I literally take the hair… and braid it into my own hair. That’s it! A simple braid! Secure with beads of your choice and elastics.

Care:

I wash my hair about once or twice a week. My hair doesn’t get oily or greasy looking. It looks bad when I wash it and looks good about the 4th day or so. That is just my hair type though. Everyone has different hair. You may need to wash it more or less depending.

Use SULFATE FREE shampoo because it helps the color last longer and keeps it brighter. I don’t wash the dreads but I scrub my scalp and roots and the shampoo and water runs through the dreads. I leave them in. They’ve been in for two years and counting. Good luck!

Devil Do Red Black Wig: Seriously- wigs are easily changeable and don’t do damage to your hair. Try this before you bleach and dye!

WARNING: This is a lot of damage to your hair. Seriously. Just try adding beads and braiding your Clip In extensions and just clip them in when you want them and take them out when you don’t. My dreads have been in so long that if I take them out I’ll be almost bald. You don’t want that. I used to use clip ins but then I realized I wanted them to be in 247 so I just sort of used metal wire and string to lock them in permanently. Dummy!

Blow Me.

Seriously. Blow me.

That’s the type of mood I am in today. As a result of this fantabulous mood… may I introduce you to a wonderful collection of items to blow.

3 Foot Sock Hop Inflatable Jukebox: Sunday Monday HAPPY DAYS! The only thing cooler would be if the thing actually played music. But you could get high enough from blowing it up that the pretty colors will be entertainment enough

Inflatable Basketball Cooler: It's basketball season right? He's got big balls! She's got big balls! But you've got the biggest balls of them all! Keep your beer cold and your friends impressed with your big balls.

Skeleton Inflatable Cooler: Touch my beer and I'll KEEL YOU!

I Dream Of Jeannie Bottle: Blow it. Rub it. But be careful or it could pop before your wishes come true.

Airblown Tabletop Birthday Cake: For when you want a special way of saying "Happy Birthday you fat cow! No cake for you!"

Foofa Standup: yeah... i don't get it either....

A Christmas Story Inflatable Lawn Leg Lamp: Careful! It's FRA-GIL-E! Main point is... the mom broad hated it in her window... so you can bet your wife will certainly kill you for putting it on the lawn. DO IT! DO IT!

Happy Birthday Britney!

Britney Spears turns 29 today… and honestly… what can I say that hasn’t been said?

Instead… I’ll say Happy Birthday Britney…. that’s it. Let’s remember the good times

Britney at the VMAs

Mega Star Costume : Now your child can be a Pop Slut too!

.

Oh for the love of Britney

Latex Flesh Bald Head: nothing says “crazy” like shaving your head. Don’t forget the umbrella.

The height of insanity. This is one disturbing image.

Back to the sweet school girl gone bad in pigtails. The beginning.

How to fight a monster (CutThroat edition)

This is what the cut throat cast turns into after a couple of alcoholic beverages.

Picture this:

You are in a haunted mansion

No cable, no internet, no music, no freedom

Competing for hidden treasure

Surrounded by savages who will stop at nothing to break you down and send you packing.

How do you fight? In style of course (you know….embrace your inner nerd)!

Here are my weapons of choice to battle the house monsters:

1.

Power Rangers Blade Blaster: How bad ass will you look rocking the red ranger's blaster? However, it may only be useful enough to take out a few silly puttys... not enough to tackle the she-devils and the mega bitch. So onto the next one....

2.

VooDoo Skull Staff: Powerful enough to take on some of the dark energy in that haunted house... but you will need more power than this.... so onto the next...

3.

Obi Wan FX Light Sabor: YES! If it can take out the dark side... surely it can put a dent in the evil duo's cruel intentions? Alas. Even if the force is with you... it still may not be enough to battle the MEGA BITCHES.

4.

Harry Potter Magical Wand: It has defeated the greatest evils known to Hoggwards academy. Surely it can defeat the evil of the Mega Bitches? No. Alas their souls are far too gone. I think we need something a bit different, though the "wand" is on the right track...... next......

5. “If you keep chasing after stars that others tell you are bright,

You will never catch your own star, the one for you that is right.” - The Star of Happiness

The Star Wand: You don't need guns, swords, and voodoo spells to defeat the enemy. You need to let your own beautiful self shine through. The more people bring you down, the more kind you need to be. In the end... life will come full circle. Throughout my journey I just remembered a beautiful quote from my favorite book...."Within you is everything you will ever need, and I promise the journey is treasure indeed. If you ever feel run down or out of luck... Just remember to never, never give up"- The Star of Happiness

Anger Management- by Cara Maria

Hey Look- it’s Ayiiia! (same size too)

Watching the Challenge: Cut Throat on MTV sort of fires me up. Have you ever wished to be a fly on the wall at school or work and hear all the crappy things people say about you when you aren’t around? I used to. Until I was cast on the show. Now every week I get to sit back and watch a verbal slew of Cara Crushing. Be careful what you wish for :(

Whenever I got pissed on the show… I would go out for a run. I’m not into confrontation. However, sometimes I get so angry that I feel like I need to hit something. It’s rare. But it happens. I’m sure it happens to you as well.

Now, let’s take out our anger in a more positive way.

Sometimes you get so angry, you attack the first thing you see…. and then you regret it. I’ve had an ex boyfriend break his cell phone in half because he was angry with me. Dumbass. I’ve known people to punch walls or break glasses etc. All you are left with is a broken or severely hurt hand and an expensive mess to clean.

Lovable Laurel

I offer you a solution. <— click that link. seriously.

You get to take out your aggression… and instead of a broken fist and broken glass… you get CANDY! I like candy!

It’s a win/win.

Stay tuned for Cut Throat every Weds on MTV 10/9c.

CM

Memoirs of a Bartender:

If you ever go out to a club…

Here are some things to make both our lives a touch easier:

Guido Adult Wig

1. KNOW what you want. Don’t call me over and then proceed to have a 20 min discussion with the rest of your group about what exactly you guys want to drink. I’ve got 30 other people who needs drinks and time is money! Vodka Cran, do it!

2. Have your money READY! I can’t even begin to say how many times I quickly make your drink and return with a smile on my face and your drink in my hands and you are busy texting or making out with your girlfriend or literally taking an hour to slow motion your wallet from your pocket and sift through your cash. I told you how much it was before I made the drink! Come on! You are not the only one in the bar!

3. NEWSFLASH: Telling me to go “easy on the ice” does not equal more alcohol. The amount of alcohol is always the same regardless of one ice cube or thirty. However, you will end up with a watered down drink that you will barely taste the alcohol in. Congrats!

4. Telling me to “hook it up” will not give you a stronger drink unless you already have cash out telling me how much extra you will hook ME up for doing it. Most bartenders know when a person says to “hook it up” they are only going to tip a dollar. We know you are cheap.

5. NEVER ask for a bartender/cocktail waitress’s number. Unless you are tipping us huge and we want you back as a customer, we won’t do it. There are 2387287347 other girls in that club. If you are awesome enough to deserve my number I will give it to you without you even asking. Also,why must you hit on the ONE person who doesn’t have time to talk to you? Just because I’m smiling at you, doesn’t open the door for your come ons. I’m smiling because I want your money, not your wonder willy.

6. Please, I know you are drunk and horny, but please… find some other spot to make out and/or grope up your hook up of the night other then right on my bar. You are not ordering drinks because your tongue is down her throught and your hands are up her skirt. You are taking up space at my bar and preventing other people from ordering drinks. Please find a dark corner to continue your STD search.

7. Affliction shirts and hair gel do not make you cool. In fact, they are a big red flashing “douche bag” sign. Just saying.

8. Being snappy and demanding will only get you a pissed off bartender.

9. When the bar is closed, the bar is closed. We can’t serve you because it is illegal to put any sort of cup over the bar after a certain time. My job isn’t worth your puppy dog eyes. Sorry.

10. Anyway, moral of the story is, tip me big and you get what you pay for: a happy bartender and a legit drink.

Skinned Right Arm

OH: side not… dear DJ.. and every rap song out there, I do not want to put my hands up. Please stop asking me to put my hands up. You keep telling me to put my hands up, but I’m busy. If I want to put my hands up I will. However, constant raising of the hands can lead to dead limbs. Don’t want that not do we?

Gobble Gobble.

Thanksgiving… that time of year where we have an excuse to eat everything and anything we can get our hands on. We become gluttons to the highest degree. This is one of the holidays that we define as truly American. We eat ourselves into a coma and call it tradition.

Anyway, just because Halloween is over… it doesn’t mean we stop working here at FrightCatalog. Here are some ideas to add a little bit of spice to your Turkey Day:

Pin the Hat on the Turkey Game

1. Pin the hat on the turkey game: So simple… even Drunk Uncle Joe could do it. Family fun at its finest.

Turkey Hat

Plush Referee Turkey Hat

2. Funny Hats: Be the star of your own Thanksgiving Day Parade. Wear one of these hats and you can be “that guy” at the dinner table. Who is going to start an argument with someone who has a turkey on their head? No family feuding this year! All for less then the cost of a couple of cans of cranberry sauce!

Turkey Child Costume

3. Child- the other white meat: Kids, you know I love them! (for dinner) Dress your favorite little heathen in this costume and you won’t feel bad about serving him for dinner. Shove an apple in his mouth and VOILA! No feathers to pull here. Just bake and serve. No screaming child running around the dinner table and breaking things and crying when they fight with the other little children…. just silence and a happy family dinner. Enjoy!

(Warning: once again, I do not endorse eating your child. If you eat him, I’m not responsible. You are an idiot and will most likely go to jail…. if you get caught… so make sure you clean it up well and get rid of all evidence and witnesses…..)

Thanksgiving Eve. Feeling Randy? (NSFW)

Of course you can count on me to get your blood flowing.

Right about now, the wife is frantic at the supermarket trying to get everything in order for the big day tomorrow. Hold up and take a break. Everything will get done and everything will be delicious and wonderful like it was last year. It will all go by way too fast and you will be left with a mess to clean up before you realize you even ate the turkey.

So, take a breath. Life is too short to be stressed and serious. Forget the turkey and focus on your own “wish bone” for a second. Here’s the deal. Role Play. Even adults should get to dress up and play once in a while.

Native Maiden Costume

Noble Warrior Adult Costume

There are a few ways to play this. You can be the Pilgram man hunting the Indian princess….chase her around the fire and pull her back by the hair. You can both be innocent Puritans preparing your first meal…and getting a little frisky under your bonnets….. You can both be Indian savages on the hunt without any regard to authority. Paint your faces and scream and dance by the fire. Finally, she can be the Puritan and you can be the horny Indian man on the hunt for some white meat ;) The choice is yours.

Step away from everything and take some time for each other. If you have kids (that sucks) send them to their friends house to play. Give yourself a moment just for you. Light some candles and let the games begin. When you get in costume, you won’t feel stupid, you will feel like the character you are internalizing. It will make your significant other even more exciting because in a strange way it will feel like cheating. Get into character, set your story line, and let yourself go. Imagine the naughty looks over dinner tomorrow ;) I guarantee that getting things ready for Thanksgiving before everyone comes over will be a lot less stressful this year.

Pilgrim Woman Costume

Pious Pilgrim Man Adult Costume

Whatever way you play it, it will be a nice escape from the madness. Yes, I can take the most innocent holiday and turn it into sex, and I believe that you should too. Get playing before you get so stuffed on turkey tomorrow that you can’t even roll over to say goodnight. Get to it while your top button can still button. Have fun ;)