While pondering my own life’s “bucket list”, I have concluded that running into a gas chamber and having to solve a mind boggling puzzle while in the midst of it would not be on that list.
However, you only live once. I can now check off “gas chamber” on my list of things I’ve done.
If you haven’t been in one, let me describe this glorious experience to you. First, if you wear contacts, take them off of they will melt into your skull. True story. Now, you can barely speak because your throat and nose is on fire with pins and needles. You can’t see because your eyes are burning off of your face. You can’t think because for god sakes you can’t breathe. But, oh yeah, throw in a puzzle on top of that and realize that if you don’t get it right, you have to go back in. Welcome to my world.
As painful as that experience was. I have to say that I am thrilled that I can say I did it. In fact, if you are ever in the middle of Prague and competing for a shit ton of money, I’d say throw a keg party in the chamber and get down with your bad self.
But be weary, the more exposure to that stuff you get, the more likely you are to see these guys floating around you.
Can’t fit everything into just one article when it comes to Tim Burton and Halloween. He’s like the Godfather of Halloween fantasy. He puts his signature twist in every movie. Many of his stories have a misunderstood outcast as the main character. There is usually a strange mechnical assembly line sequence, clowns, stitched/dead people or animals, and an absent or cruel father figure.
I’ve taken you through the best of Tim Burton (Beetle Juice, Batman, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Edward Scissorhands) Now I will take you through the rest…
The Corpse Bride (2005) is an animated romantic fantasy reminiscent of the Jack and Sally relationship on the Nightmare Before Christmas. When the groom practices wedding vows over the grave of a dead woman, she rises and assumes he is to marry her. You too can be the Bride from Hell.
Based on a Broadway musical, this is a story of a disturbed barber who will stop at nothing to get his daughter back from the sinister Judge of the town. He sets up shop with meat pie maker Mrs. Lovett. His kills go into her pies and together they make one disturbed, yet very successful couple.
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Everyone knows the story of Alice in Wonderland. Tim Burton’s twist on the familiar fairy tale takes you on a teenage Alice’s journey back to Wonderland.
Take some of these ideas and think about your most killer costume this year. Remember: groups and couples make a huge impact. Dress like the twisted cast from Alice in Wonderland, or go out at Lydia and Beetle Juice. Carry meat pies through the town on Halloween as Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett.
The possibilities go on and on. Add your own personal twist to the Tim Burton classic. The countdown is officially on, so get to it!
There’s just something about skintight latex clad curves on a super delicious woman that drive men out the window. Add to that heels and a whip and oh my god… on your knees please. I mean, it worked on Batman didn’t it?
Since Halloween is fast approaching, I’ll use this blog to post pics of super sexy costumed women. The “black cat” costume is one of the most popular for Halloween. You can do it cute, you can do it fun, and you can do it off the charts sexy.
Left: Michelle Pfieffer… my idol. She brought some raw S&M flavor to Catwoman. I couldn’t have asked for more. This Catwoman was the start of my latex fetish. Apparently during production of the movie, Michelle went through several costume changes. The latex was so tight that she was sewn into it for each scene.
Bottom Right: Victoria’s Secret Model Ines Rivero pays tribute to the Michelle Pfieffer version of this feline fatale.
Left: From the 60’s Miss Julie Newmar really brought the sexy for Catwoman.
Bottom Right: Khloe Kardashian rocks a Julie inspired catwoman look for last years Halloween.
Now it seems as if the celebs who are Moms or Moms to be opt for a more furry and realistic type of kitty:
Whichever catwoman you decide you emulate this Halloween, just make sure you do her justice.
Check out all the great Cat Gear we have at FrightCatalog.com … snag your own Batman this year.
Also, by the glory of god, may the Hollywood execs not make another Berry mistake…
Today is September 2nd, 2010 – or 90210! Since this is truly a once in a lifetime event, and even though I NEVER watched the show back in the ’90s [cough!], it’s worth having some fun with it.
Remember the classic Halloween episode where Kelly almost gets raped at the costume party, but Brenda and Donna saved the day? OK, I had to Google it, but I do remember it–and the costumes, from Steve’s Zorro, Donna’s mermaid, and the sleazy cowboy.
Even though I do not have cable… the issue of the New York mosque building sight seems to creep into my life (and facebook feeds) every day.
I don’t vote. I don’t care. I don’t see things effect my life one way or another with whoever is in power.
However, this mosque dilemma seems to be a big issue and source of conflict for many groups. Since it has invaded my life, I feel I need to address the issue.
Dear Mrs. Palin…
Actually, can I call you Sarah? Not only are you beautiful and intelligent and a lovely mother of many, you also are a very powerful speaker… I would compare your words to Shakespeare but you’ve already done that for yourself. You are woman! I hear you roar (along with those pesky and overabundant animals you hunt and decorate your wall with). When you speak… or tweet… smart people support you while ignorant and overzealous liberals slander you. Spelling mistakes and support of racial slurs only means that you are human just like us.
Now, my beautiful and smart Sarah, I hear your words on the Mosque site. I know liberals think you are just trying to incite panic and emotion when you use terms like “radical” in every other sentence when talking about anyone who doesn’t agree with you, but they are clearly just dispatrioticalists (that’s a word right?). Either way, I want to help make your speeches even more powerful. I think a good way to help those peace loving, equality driven, open minded liberal hippies see what they really stand for is to actually SHOW them. May I suggest, that for the next speech you make, you wear this Oil King Adult Mask from frightcatalog.com? It will help drive home the point that this is who all those radical Muslims really are…evil terrorist turban wearing Satan worshipers (I mean, if it’s not Jesus, than it can only be Satan). You, Sarah, are famous for speaking your mind. This will make a huge statement and perhaps cause those anti-American liberals to refudiate their ways.
Perhaps if this suggestion helps you spread your words, we could discuss politics over some moose meat in your Alaskan back yard as we gaze over the border at Russia. May God be with you Sarah. I know he will be and already is. I’ve actually spoken to him personally and he told me to tell you that he only loves Republicans. F* the rest of em’. God bless America! Git er dun!
MEGA DISCLAIMER: This article is for satirical purposes only. My writings have nothing to do with the views of frightcatalog or it’s owners. I really don’t know anything about politics. I don’t follow them. (Though, if I had to classify myself as one thing, I’d say I’m an open minded hippie…which is why this article is so tongue in cheek). I know that anything political will spark people’s madness buttons and get them talking. I like pushing buttons. Speaking of buttons, use your mouse button and click on over to Frightcatalog.com to check out their wicked cool Halloween stuff. Life’s too short to stress about politics and problems that aren’t your own, so live, laugh, and move on! It’s just in good fun
We all know Halloween is every girl’s excuse to dress like a slut. Except the girls like to call it “sexy”. There is nothing wrong with this and I do highly encourage it. However, it seems like the costume industry is running out of ideas for “sexy women’s costumes” so they are expanding “sexy” to places they probably shouldn’t be going.
Naughty cop, sexy maid, sexy nurse, sexy sailor, naughty sexy school girl, you get the idea… These all pass as part of the sexy Halloween trademark. However, I’ve compiled a list directly from Frightcatalog.com of costumes that seem to beg the question “what are they thinking?!”
6. Sexy Optimus Prime: OK, I can see “sexy” popping immediately into one’s head when the word “transformers” is uttered. However, the brain would connect “sexy” to a certain “fox” rather than an “Optimus Prime”- but I guess everyone deserves a chance….
5. Sexy Chucky: When Child’s Play came out I never thought I’d see the day that a sexy costume of the killer doll would be available in the future. That movie gave me nightmares for years and also resulted in mass dumpster visits of most of my dolls. I will say though, despite the trauma this movie caused me… in some sick way this costume turns me on. I kinda dig it. I want it. Kudos costume manufacturer for making this work.
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…gone wild. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but something doesn’t sit right with me. Rachel was supposed to be the babe amongst all the green. Perhaps this is another case of “fox” vs “transformers”. I don’t know. I guess I could go with it…especially if said Halloween slut wore those boots. mmmmm turtle power.
3. Brian… Family Guy: Now we are getting to the strange and unusual. Seriously, who came up with this? I think the real Brian would be offended. Or turned on perhaps. Or flattered. Never mind. I guess it could be worse…. sexy Stewie anyone? Maybe it’s already in the works for Halloween 2011.
2. Sexy Big Bird? Now you’ve taken it too far! This is my childhood we are talking about. Anyone who could find anything sexy about big bird has got to have some childhood issues they haven’t dealt with. I find this very disturbing… and believe me I am into some weird sh**. I mean hey….whatever tickles your pickle I guess. Who am I to judge.
1. Sexy Sponge Bob.
Really? This is a real costume and the word “sexy” is used in the title. I want to make a joke about crabby patties or something but I really don’t think I even have to.
There you have it- the top six strange sexy costumes according to your Halloween Harlot. What will they come out with next?
Apparently “thin is in” doesn’t apply to everyone.
Many of us stare at the super models in magazines and wish to look like the girl…or sleep with her. However, there are some guys out there that would rather roll onto a love handle than a hip bone.
This brings me to the subject of “feeder fetish”. In this type of fetish, both members receive sexual arousal and satisfaction as it relates to excessive weight and body fat. The overweight person is happy with his/her weight and wants to gain more. The feeder derives sexual pleasure from feeding their partner large quantities of food and watching as different parts of the body change. They also enjoy sexual pleasure in viewing and/or having sex with various folds of fat on their partners body. Some obese partners describe a fascination with their own fat as it moves from side to side with them.
I say be open to all walks of life. You don’t have to eat ten brownie sundaes to get a taste of this lifestyle…. though it certainly would be delicious. Men, check out our Fat Bastard Costume. He is certainly dead sexy. Women, check out our Tassle Twirling Tessie Costume. Let your body free.
In fact, if you have an open partner… try bouncing around on each other in these sexy get ups and then try to tell me it doesn’t turn you on.
We live in Mc USA. The burger is king in this country. Don’t run away from it. Embrace it! Don’t feel guilty about that pint of Ben n Jerry’s. Dig in! The number of men attracted to large women outnumbers the amount of women who are into it. You could be in demand. Take a lesson from Donna Simpson. She has her own website that men pay membership fees to join in order to watch her eat and gain weight.
Oh hell, why don’t we round up the homeless people and give them a pay site for fat fetishists. We can stop hunger and poverty in one shot. God Bless America.
Disclaimer for the stupid people who do not see the satiric nature of this article: We do not endorse eating massive quantities of food. It is bad for your health. You could suffer serious health problems and/or die. Yes, eating a lot and not exercising increases your risk of death. Google it. However, if you prefer a gallon of ice cream to an apple, who am I to stop you.