Get ready to bust out those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes, because after taking on the Transformers franchise, Michael Bay has set his sights on making a live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. But before you go hooting and hollering in celebration, let’s take a look at Michael Bay’s official statement:
“When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.”
In response the Internet exploded into a disarray of arguments revolving around seven words within Bay’s statement: “These turtles are from an alien race.” The original story depicts turtles succumbing to alien goo, which mutates them into anthropomorphic warriors. Bay’s claim of the turtles stemming from an alien race would essentially rewrite 30 years of TMNT history, and TMNT fans made sure to let him know about their disapproval.
Michael Bay defended his statement by saying, “Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.”
But let’s be honest – Michael Bay is a pornographic director disguising as a film creator. The story and dialogue are only there to move the film onto the next money shot scene of explosions and big breasted women running in front of expensive cars. I doubt he cares whether the turtles are from space or from radioactive ooze. He sees a franchise worth turning into a pile of cash, and he knows people will see it regardless of the origin story.
The film is currently scheduled to hit theaters on December 25, 2013.