Women, would you be a sexy fruit?

Halloween gives women a chance to be as skanky, sexy, or slutty as they desire, but some Halloween costumes are absolutely strange. Sexy mustard is a perfect example. When I think sexy, I do not think mustard. If anything, I think fruits, because theyre sugary, soft, and easy to bite into, and the juices flowing out of the fruit mimic the blood flowing out of a freshly killed wom never mind.

So, I need to ask my audience:

Men, would you find a sexy fruit or condiment costume attractive?

sexy keg

The sexy keg costume, full of sexual innuendo.

sexy banana

The sexy banana.

Women, would you wear a sexy fruit or condiment costume?

sexy ketchup

The sexy ketchup, because it…goes…great…on meat?

sexy watermelon

The sexy watermelon.

There are so many sexy Halloween costumes on the market, but corporations are running out of ideas. Next year we’ll see sexy bedside tables, sexy Alaskan crabs, sexy plastic dinner plates, and so forth. If you’re like me, this lack of creativity is a Godsend. I’m looking forward to sexy bus stop bench, but only if it comes equipped with stale gum and homeless urine stench.

2 thoughts on “Women, would you be a sexy fruit?

  1. tina

    Lol This just makes me laugh at the lengths some will go to to be in a “sexy” costume for Halloween. I am a female, but I love to be something traditional for Halloween like a witch or some other scary creature, never a SEXY witch or whatever, a SCARY one! Really a sexy watermelon??? LOL holy crap!!!

  2. HalloweeMan

    So bored of “sexy costumes. In the first place, they are way too conventional to have any real sex appeal. In addition, they are really kind of sexist, in that they don’t give women REAL choices when it comes to Halloween costumes.

    Come on guys, get with the 21st century.

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