The Kim Kardashian Halloween Wedding


kim kardashian
“I prove that people pay attention to beauty.”

Kim Kardashian, the annoying gnat known only for her curves and a sex tape, is getting married. Why does the world care? Why is this listed on this blog? Here’s why: Kim Kardashian is getting married on Halloween of this year October 31st, 2011. Big deal, right? Who the flying flip should care?

Here’s why:

As evident by her love for being in the tabloids, Kim Kardashian is an attention-whore. She sucks it up through a gem-encrusted straw and savors being the constant flavor of the month. So how does she steal back the eyes of the world, other than getting married on Halloween? She creates a registry of gifts that totals over $65,000. Go ahead, open it, if you dare. Be warned though: it is stupidly lavish. You may suddenly find yourself crushed by economic despair, or overwhelmed by bouts of nausea.

Here’s some of the gifts:

  • An astray – $1,100.
  • A Baccarat vase – $7,850
  • Some stupid statue – $325
  • A napkin ring – $32.
  • A 1925 Tea Set – $1,000

And on and on and on.

You know what the worst part of it is? She’s going to get this stuff. People are going to happily skip and frolic their rich selves into Kardashian’s wedding with armfuls of this stuff. Bagfuls upon bagfuls of rich junk, which will sit and collect dust in her gorgeous mansion built of sex and scandals.

kim kardashian
“Y’all seen my movie? It was nominated for Best Acting in a Sex Tape.”

My only hope the only thing keeping me somewhat neutral on this topic is that she’s holding it on Halloween. Everyone had better be dressed in Halloween costumes. I want to see zombies, werewolves, mummies, and an undead Kanye West watching this wedding take place. Otherwise, she’s a nobody who found a means of getting rich and ruining Halloween this year.

I’m done with this rant. Let’s hope that Ms. Kardashian can at least blow some of her sex-tape money on some sweet Halloween costumes.



26 thoughts on “The Kim Kardashian Halloween Wedding”

  1. I, personally, only disagree with one thing in this article: she will not ruin Hallowe’en for me at all! My husband and I were married on October 31st, 2008. We will be celebrating Hallowe’en with our four-year old son (who will most likely be a skeleton AGAIN this year), having a frightening 3rd anniversary, and throwing a big haunted backyard party! None of this will be ruined by the fact that some (in my opinion) unattractive, unintelligent, spoiled little rich girl is wasting other peoples’ time with her 5-second marriage. She could be getting married on christmas or thanksgiving or easter (etc, etc) for all I care.
    Thanks for reading! And Happy Hallowe’en everyone!

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