An open letter to Sarah Palin.

 

Even though I do not have cable… the issue of the New York mosque building sight seems to creep into my life (and facebook feeds) every day.

I don’t vote. I don’t care. I don’t see things effect my life one way or another with whoever is in power.

However, this mosque dilemma seems to be a big issue and source of conflict for many groups. Since it has invaded my life, I feel I need to address the issue.

Dear Mrs. Palin…

Actually, can I call you Sarah? Not only are you beautiful and intelligent and a lovely mother of many, you also are a very powerful speaker… I would compare your words to Shakespeare but you’ve already done that for yourself. You are woman! I hear you roar (along with those pesky and overabundant animals you hunt and decorate your wall with). When you speak… or tweet… smart people support you while ignorant and overzealous liberals slander you. Spelling mistakes and support of racial slurs only means that you are human just like us.

Oil King Adult Mask

Now, my beautiful and smart Sarah, I hear your words on the Mosque site. I know liberals think you are just trying to incite panic and emotion when you use terms like “radical” in every other sentence when talking about anyone who doesn’t agree with you, but they are clearly just dispatrioticalists (that’s a word right?). Either way, I want to help make your speeches even more powerful. I think a good way to help those peace loving, equality driven, open minded liberal hippies see what they really stand for is to actually SHOW them. May I suggest, that for the next speech you make, you wear this Oil King Adult Mask from frightcatalog.com? It will help drive home the point that this is who all those radical Muslims really are…evil terrorist turban wearing Satan worshipers (I mean, if it’s not Jesus, than it can only be Satan). You, Sarah, are famous for speaking your mind. This will make a huge statement and perhaps cause those anti-American liberals to refudiate their ways.

Perhaps if this suggestion helps you spread your words, we could discuss politics over some moose meat in your Alaskan back yard as we gaze over the border at Russia. May God be with you Sarah. I know he will be and already is. I’ve actually spoken to him personally and he told me to tell you that he only loves Republicans. F* the rest of em’. God bless America! Git er dun!

Your Halloween Harlot- Miss Cara Maria

MEGA DISCLAIMER: This article is for satirical purposes only. My writings have nothing to do with the views of frightcatalog or it’s owners. I really don’t know anything about politics. I don’t follow them. (Though, if I had to classify myself as one thing, I’d say I’m an open minded hippie…which is why this article is so tongue in cheek). I know that anything political will spark people’s madness buttons and get them talking. I like pushing buttons. Speaking of buttons, use your mouse button and click on over to Frightcatalog.com to check out their wicked cool Halloween stuff. Life’s too short to stress about politics and problems that aren’t your own, so live, laugh, and move on! It’s just in good fun :)

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