Monthly Archives: July 2010

Under The Sea

We probably all are familiar with the Disney version of The Little Mermaid. It’s a classic story: Girl meets boy, she moves to be with him, they fall in love, get married, and have all sorts of freaky marital relations after the wedding. The last part is from my imagination, but you get what I mean.

However, the Disney tale has its roots in a much darker story. In the original version of the story, written by Hans Christian Andersen, things do not go as well for the mermaid as it does for Ariel in the Disney version. Firstly, when the mermaid sells her voice to get legs from the sea witch, there is a very significant catch. When she has legs, whenever she walks, it will feel as if she is walking on knives with every step. Secondly, the prince and the mermaid do not fall in love; he meets another, very human, woman and marries her instead, leaving the poor mermaid tossed aside like chum over the side of a boat. It gets even better. In the original deal that the sea witch gives the mermaid, if she does not marry the prince, she will die and turn to sea foam. However, if she stabs the prince in the heart on his wedding night and lets his blood spurt over her legs, she’ll be able to turn back into a mermaid, saving herself in the process. Does she do this? No. Instead, she decides to be a total doormat and save him, sacrificing herself. After her death, however, she is transformed into a “spirit of the air” in reward for her “goodness”. Anyway you look at it, it’s a bum deal.

If only she knew...

Think Cold Thoughts…

Ice Cream Sundae Adult Costume

I knew I should have held on to that “Hotter than Hell” post for a REAL heat wave to hit… so, instead, we’ll just think about how it might feel to be engulfed in ice cream right about now.

If, for some reason, you’re wearing a costume today in the heat (or, hell, even if you’re not but are stuck without AC), be sure to wear a Kold-Vest:

Kold-Vest

Vest has pockets for frozen inserts, to keep you cool for up to two hours. If money’s an object, try the Kold Kollar.

True Love

“Is there something in my teeth?”

Even though I left my Gothic lifestyle behind years ago, I still love vampires. Up until recently, I’ve kept this love under wraps, lest I be labeled a total weirdo. However, with the resurgence of vampires in the media (even though it includes Edward Cullen, who is probably the lamest vampire ever), liking vampires is now acceptable. When I heard that my favorite show, True Blood, was renewed for a fourth season, I thought to myself that now is the perfect time to “come out of the coffin” and treat my friends to a vampire-themed party.

The premise is simple: get a bunch of people together, nibble on some snacks (or a fellow partygoer), and watch vampire movies until the sun comes up. If somebody decides to don a pair of fangs or a cape, well, all the better.

Sounds fun, right? So invite some people, make some vampire bite cupcakes, and celebrate all things undead. Who knows, maybe Dracula himself will show.