When we last left our princess (you), she had just got home from an absurdly horrible date with a man that she thought was going to be her dream come true. He was rude, brash, cocky, and cheap. At the end of the date he still had the nerve invite himself into her home. Now the Princess has ideas of her own…
As you sit in the car and rethink the horrible date, your brain goes into overdrive. You are the Halloween Queen. This prince has no idea who he just crossed. You know this is going to be a date that you’ll remember, but now it will be for the most devious reasons imaginable. You are going to teach him a lesson he’ll never forget. It’s time to put the princess away and bring out the demon he has awakened. He pulls up to your house and looks over at you. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” he smiles. Oh yes. Oh yes, you are.
You turn to your handsome Prince with a sweet smile on your face. “Can you please just wait in here one minute… my house is such a mess. I wasn’t expecting company. I want to make it as presentable as I can for a Prince like yourself.” The Prince grins and gives you his signature wave of the hand. This is your cue to be dismissed.
You rush into your home. You have little time to make this perfect. You want make this date as unforgettable for him as he has made it for you. You quickly turn on your fog machines to set the mood. You pull out your favorite animatronics and plug em in. These are going to be your crew, your defenders. The Prince will never see this coming.
You head outside to wave down the Prince. You seductively invite him in. As he enters he notices the fog coming from under the door of one of the rooms. “Um, what’s that about?” he asks, pointing to the fog. “And do you have something for Halloween that I don’t know about? I mean…. it’s April for Christ’s sake….” He looks around at the cobwebs and Jack- O- Lanterns scattered around your house and seems uneasy. “Oh, you don’t like it?” you pout. “Halloween is what I live for. Any man who wants to get in my pants needs to get in my Halloween head first” you wink at him.
“Please sit down. Let me get you something to drink.” you say as you push him onto the couch. You head to the kitchen and take out your favorite champagne flute. You fill it with your finest champagne and drop your favorite magic potion into it as a final touch- LSD. Perfect. You saunter out and hand the laced champagne flute to your Prince. “Now, let me slip into something just a little more comfortable” you breathe into his ear. “You are one crazy broad but it’s hot!” the Prince quivers in anticipation.”OH, give me the dress when you are done. I don’t think it fits you as well as I thought it did. I’ll get you something else instead.”
You turn around and cringe as you walk away to the room with the fog. You close the door behind you and breathe. He wants the dress back? You’ll give him the dress back. You grab your stage blood and visciously splatter it all over your dress. Awww…too bad. You liked this dress…but this is well worth the loss. You get naked and splatter the blood all over your body. You slip on your own Prince CHAR-ming mask and get ready for the best Halloween scare the month of April has ever known.
You yell to the Prince from behind your door, “I’m ready for you.” Just as he opens the door, you start screaming. Holding your prop butcher knife in one hand and the bloody dress in the other hand. The Prince freezes in disbelief. All of a sudden Krazy Kristen starts screaming and thrashing from her metal wall. As the Prince turns an ice cold body falls from the door way and knocks him to the ground. The Prince, stunned, looks up and sees a half torso of a man twitching and jerking above him. You inch towards him making deathly gurgling noises and snaring. As the Prince wildly screams and backs away towards a different corner of the room, he bumps into Spitting Debby. She stops her eating and lifts her head up and spits a blast of water and air into his face. The Prince’s heart almost beats out of his chest as he screams and runs for the door. Finally, your favorite clown Chuckles bounces down from the doorway and you laugh in a horror of hysterics as the Prince falls and runs for safety.
You run after him. “You forgot your DRESS!” you snare. But it is too late. He’s already burned rubber down the street and in the next city before you can blink. You are left with tire tracks in your driveway as a souvenir of your dirty work and a warning to future bad dates.
You kiss your favorite Prince of all, Prince Chuckles, and close the door.
And they all “lived”, frightfully ever after.